Walking Backwards
by justaskalice
Summary: **ON HIATUS** Edward Masen has life figured out. That is, until a new coworker turns his plan on its head.
1. Chapter 1

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I own a tour guide nametag from my alma mater.**

**WriteOnTime and Daisy3853 are goddesses among betas.  
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**EPOV**

"Hello, my name is Edward Masen. I'm a senior from Chicago, Illinois, and I'm majoring in Biology with plans to attend med school next year. Welcome to Dartmouth."

A roomful of eager and apprehensive faces stared back at me. I had taken this job because I thought it would look good on my resume, but some days it just wasn't worth getting ogled by eighteen-year-old girls and their mothers. Today would be especially grueling, because the new hires started their training this afternoon. They stood lining the back wall, wearing the same bright-green winter coat I was and looking nervous as hell. I sighed inwardly, but continued my well-rehearsed spiel.

"I know everyone is excited to get outside and get started with our tour today, but before we do that, a few quick comments. We'll be outside for about an hour, and we'll be going up some stairs and down some hills, so if that's going to be a problem please let your tour guide know. Hanover is a balmy fifteen degrees today, so I hope everyone brought their warmest winter clothing. Jacob will split you into three groups and we'll get started!" I bit back a cringe at the false pep in my own voice, keeping my somewhat-forced smile in place as I stepped back.

Jacob turned his bright smile on the group. Cocky bastard. Unlike me, he reveled in the attention, and he was in a good mood today, probably because more than half the new guides in the back were girls.

"Hey, team," he said. Asshole always started his tours like that. He said it was because he was on the crew team and it highlighted his unique experiences on campus. I said it was because he was a douchebag. "I'm Jacob Black, and I'm a junior from La Push, Washington. I have a double major in Anthropology and Environmental Studies. Okay, why don't the first three rows follow Edward out?"

As he waved the parents and teens out of their seats, he gestured to three of the new hires in the back. All guys, of course, because I was almost positive he would be sending half the girls out with Alice, who posed no threat to him, and would take the rest for himself. I don't know why he bothered, it's not like I ever dated coworkers. I'd seen firsthand how messy _that_ got.

Looking at the girls who waited in the back of the room, I could already pick out the ones he would leave for himself. There was a shorter, slim girl with long brown hair, although I couldn't tell exactly how she was built thanks to the bulky green monstrosity she was wearing. Jacob liked brunettes, so he'd pick her no question, and probably the girl next to her with shorter, curlier brown hair.

I pulled my eyes away from the new guides and started for the door. As I passed Alice, she whispered to me, "Bet I can make it back before you can. Winner buys dinner."

"Bring it, little girl," I shot back with a smirk, patting her on the head and darting out of reach before she could kick me in the shin. Alice Brandon was one of my favorite co-workers. She was hired the summer after me, but we clicked right away. She was easy to be friends with, even if she did come across as a bit manic sometimes. Her boyfriend Jasper was a cool guy, as an added bonus. They were cute together—he balanced her moments of hyperactivity with a zen-like chill that I could never pull off. The three of us spent a lot of time together. Well, we used to, back before I resigned myself fully to the pre-med lifestyle. Now I was lucky if we hung out once or twice a month outside of work.

The guys Jacob had sent with me jogged to catch up, practically shoving their way through the group I was leading. They looked a little like the three stooges.

"Edward, yo," Stooge Number One said. He had greasy black hair that hung in his eyes and looked like it hadn't been combed in a while. Definitely Moe. "I'm Eric. How is this gonna play today? Are we just chillin'?"

His slang came out sounding overly practiced and awkward. It was pretty funny, if I was being honest, but I didn't want the guy to think I thought he was cool. He seemed like the clingy type, and I was not up for being the Fonzie to his Richie Cunningham.

"Just talk to the students and the parents; hang out. I'll be giving the tour, today all you're doing is listening. When we get back, you'll start your training."

Another one of the Stooges, a beefy-looking kid with a tan and a blonde buzz cut, grinned at me lazily. "Dude. Awesome. Are we like, gonna get a chance to hang out with the other guides? That Bella girl was totally into me."

I rolled my eyes and put some distance between myself and Larry. I felt bad for whoever Bella was if she was already warding off the advances of horny co-workers on her first day on the job.

It was an average tour, the same inane questions about parties and academics, the same overbearing parents and slightly bored students. The campus was still fairly empty because of Christmas break, which made it easier to speed through. Every once in a while I caught sight of Alice's group, lagging just a little ways behind me. It looked like she had a couple of slow parents. I allowed myself a smirk, knowing that I could easily beat her back. I did notice that she had managed to get the girl with the long brown hair in her group. Maybe she kicked _Jacob_ in the shin. The thought perked me up somewhat.

I had my hands full with Moe, Larry, and Curly. The third kid, a tall, gangly African-American guy named Tyler, was pretty quiet, although I noticed he was actually trying to do what I told them to and mingle with the visitors in the group. Moe and Larry were mostly ignoring me, shuffling along at the back and muttering to each other and laughing once in a while.

I made it back to the Hopkins Center first, but just barely. I was chatting with a lingering mother when Alice walked up with her group. She scowled over at me before turning back and beginning the last stop. I directed the woman I was talking to back to the place where she was parked and then sent my three stooges back to the tour guide office at McNutt hall. Alice was winding up, so I decided to wait for her.

"In the end, you have to pick the university that's right for you," she said, an earnest smile on her face. Nice, Alice. Sell it. I glanced over at the new guides in her group. The girl with the long brown hair actually had a notepad with her, and she was scribbling furiously. "College is a fantastic experience, and if Dartmouth isn't for you, I hope you find the place that is. I'll stick around for a few minutes to answer any questions you have about the tour or anything else. Please drive safely in the snow, and have a wonderful day on campus. Go Big Green!"

Her group applauded and dispersed, and I strolled over to her and planted my elbow on her head. She was the perfect height for it, and the maneuver had the added bonus of ticking her off every time I did it.

"So Munchkin, where are you taking me for dinner? I'm feeling like something expensive, what do you say about lobster and champagne?"

The new guides from Alice's group gawked at us, probably trying to figure out if we were together or something. She rolled her eyes and grabbed my forearm, twisting it expertly and pinning it behind my back in one fluid move. I grunted in surprise, then in pain.

"Jesus, Alice, when did you pick that move up?"

She released me and stepped away, cracking her knuckles and looking very pleased with herself. "Self defense class. It's a class at the Fitness Center this year. You should look into it, wouldn't want anything to happen to that pretty face."

I scowled at her and crossed my arms defensively. "Whatever. I let you pin me, just so you could feel better about being so miniscule."

"Okay, Edward, you keep telling yourself that," she laughed. She turned to the girls in green who were still staring at us and waved them over. Besides the girl with brown hair, whose face had turned an interesting shade of pink, there was a girl with dirty-blonde, shoulder-length hair and another whose entire head was covered by an ugly green wool hat. "He doesn't bite. He's just a boy."

I clicked my teeth together and growled at her, and when she sighed dramatically, I looped my arm loosely around her neck and rubbed my fist in her hair before taking off running again. She hated that shit.

"Edward Masen, you get your ass back here!" she bellowed after me. "Nobody messes with my hair and gets away with it!"

I glanced back and watched her stomp after me, new girls in tow. The two of us were supposed to be heading up the first day of training, so the fact that she was already pissed at me didn't bode well for the afternoon. I would probably get kicked at least once, especially since I messed with her hair.

When I got back to McNutt, I ducked into the tiny office the tour guide coordinators used as a home base. Jacob was leaning against one of the desks. He must have bent time and space to make it back before me. Either that or he was skipping stops again, which was against the rules, cold weather or no. Rosalie Hale sat at the computer at the other desk, typing away on what looked like a spreadsheet. She turned when she heard me come in, arching a perfect eyebrow at me.

"I hope you're prepared for today, Masen," she barked. Rose was beautiful, but she was also scary as hell if you didn't know her. I'd seen her make freshmen cry. I also had it on good authority that her bite was worse than her bark. Her boyfriend Emmett was a good friend of mine; he'd shown me the marks.

"Alice and I have it covered," I said with a shrug, reaching past Jacob to grab a handful of candy from the jar that sat on the desk. Thanks to the tour guide office, I was pretty much in a constant state of sugar high. The all-access pass to candy and caffeine was handy when I had to keep going on two or three hours of sleep.

"Well, Jacob volunteered to help, and I think it's a good idea," she continued, still glaring at me like she wanted me to disagree just so she could punch me in the balls. I wasn't stupid. Rosalie was technically my boss, although we had been hired at the same time. She was one of our two coordinators, and she took her job seriously. Most days she was more drill sergeant than friendly ambassador of the Ivy League. The hilarious part was that she was an elementary education major. She wanted to teach first grade. I laughed until the first time I saw her give a tour to a group of seven-year-olds. She was all smiles and dimples. She had them eating out of the palm of her hand.

"Whatever you say, boss," I drawled, unwrapping a Starburst and popping it in my mouth. She swiveled back to her computer and I muttered to Jacob, "You're a pain in my ass, you know that?"

"Jealous?" he scoffed, pushing past me to leave the office. "I'll see you up there."

The door slammed behind him and I sighed loudly, popping another piece of candy in my mouth.

"I don't like him either, but he's good with the new guides," Rose said.

I snorted, and she turned to face me again.

"What, you don't think so? He almost single-handedly trained the whole summer class last year. Unfortunate taste in cologne aside, Jake's good with people."

I had to laugh at that. She was constantly complaining that he smelled like he had just taken a bath in his cologne, which she referred to as _Eau de Wet Dog_. Jacob may have thought he was God's gift to women, but Rosalie Hale disagreed. I tended to trust her judgment more. After all, she thought I was pretty cute. Not that she would ever admit it to my face. Or sober.

Speaking of sober.

"Is Emmett still up for hosting Newbie-Palooza?" I asked. After we wrapped training for a new group of guides, we always threw a party so that everyone could get to know each other. Everyone got completely hammered, and there tended to be a lot of drunken hook-ups and blackmail-worthy confessions. Hence my knowledge that Rose thought I was _one hot motherfucker._ Her words, not mine. She still didn't know I had heard her say it. It may have happened two years ago, but I was holding onto that little tidbit just in case I ever needed ammo.

"Are you kidding? He's been talking about it all week." She rolled her eyes and turned back to her computer again. "You would think he was the one who worked here."

"Awesome. Well, Alice should be back soon with her group, so I'm going to head up to the conference room and get things laid out. See you later?"

"Yeah, I'll pop in at some point, just to scare them." She glanced over her shoulder with a grin. "You know how I love to scare them."

I mock shuddered, but not really because I was pretty sure she was serious, and turned to go.

"Oh, and Masen?"

"Yes, mein fuhrer?"

"No hitting on the new girls. Try to get Jacob to lay off too, okay? When he broke Mandy's heart last summer, she quit, and she was one of our best guides."

I blinked, surprised and a little annoyed that I was getting lumped in with Jacob. "When have I ever hit on the new girls?"

"Well... don't start."

I raised my eyebrows and she scowled at me. "Fine, the warning was mostly for Black, okay? Just go."

She waved me off and I headed for the stairs, laughing a little under my breath. As I passed the main entrance, I saw Alice coming in, arm-in-arm with the girl with the long brown hair. Her normally perfectly-spiked hair was still all over the place from my noogie, and when she saw me she leveled an angry glare at me. Apparently her walk from the Hop hadn't cooled her down.

"I hope you know that for your impudence you will die." The girl on her arm looked back and forth between us with wide eyes. Alice seemed to realize that she was staring and suddenly smiled.

"I'm sorry. I should introduce you two. Well," she turned her head to look at the other two girls from her group who were talking a short distance away. "I mean, you don't know any of the new guides, but Bella is one of my best friends, so you should be extra nice to her. I've actually been meaning to introduce you two all year, but things never worked out."

"I'm Edward," I said, extending my hand with a crooked half-smile. Alice always said it was my best smile, something about it being charming. Rose's warning about hitting on the new guides was still ringing in my ears, but there was no harm in being friendly. "Nice to meet you, Bella."

She was still staring at me. She made no move to shake my hand. She didn't speak. The only sign that she heard me at all was a sudden flood of color to her cheeks. Maybe she was mute? No, they'd never hire a mute to be a campus tour guide. Alice stared at her for a second and then squeezed her arm.

"Oh," Bella squeaked suddenly. Her voice was low and kind of husky. Not at all what I was expecting. "Yes. Um, hi. Nice to meet you, too." She still didn't reach for my hand, so I dropped it with a slight frown.

"Okay," I said slowly. She was a trifle odd, that was for sure. "Well I'm headed up to the conference room to get everything set up. Alice, Dragon Lady is in the office today, so maybe steer clear. Oh, and Jacob is helping us this afternoon." I glanced at Bella. "I apologize for Jacob in advance. See you ladies up there."

While I set out binders packed full of campus information and started writing things out on the dry-erase board in the conference room, Jacob sat at the table and spun around on one of the wheelie chairs. I would have asked him to help, but I was pretty sure I would finish setting up faster on my own. He was pretty useless when it came to any kind of menial task.

"So, which one of the new girls should I take under my wing?" Jacob mused, still spinning in circles. I kind of hoped he would puke all over himself and have to go home. It would make my job so much easier. "There are some cute ones in this group."

"Rosalie said to lay off the flirting," I said sternly. He never listened to me, and the fact that I was telling him to do something almost guaranteed he would do the opposite, but at least I could tell Rose I tried. "She doesn't want any of them quitting because of a tragic romance. Keep it in your pants this time, okay?"

"Sure, sure, whatever you say," he answered quickly. "Alice seems to know a couple of them this time. Grabbed one girl for her group right from under my nose. Did she introduce you to anyone?"

"Yeah, I guess she's friends with one of them, Bella. Didn't catch anybody else's name though."

Before he could answer we heard approaching footsteps, and the new guides poured into the room, no longer wearing their Dartmouth green. Moe, Larry, and Curly were the only guys in the group, outnumbered three to six. I hated dealing with groups that were majority female. They were cliquey and whiny and they talked about everything for hours before they came to any kind of decision. Yes, I know that sounds sexist. It's also true.

Once they were all seated, I started talking.

"Hey guys, I'm Edward. You've already met Alice," I nodded at her, "and this is Jacob." I cocked my head toward him and he waved. "We're going to be kicking off your training today, but before we do that, we'd like to hear a little bit about you. Standard tour guide intro is your name, your hometown, what year you are, and your major. We'll go around the table and everyone can give it a shot."

The hiring committee usually tried to get a wide variety of people, so that the guides represented the student body pretty closely as far as where they were from and what they were studying. The group we had was reflective of that.

Eric was a sophomore from Boston, Massachusetts. He was majoring in Engineering.

Mike was a junior majoring in Film and Television Studies from San Diego, California.

Tyler was a freshman from Detroit, Michigan. He was still undeclared.

Then there were Angela and Jessica, who were both juniors from small towns in Ohio. Angela was studying sociology and Jessica was in the school of education. Lauren, who I recognized as the girl with the ugly green hat, was a senior from Bangor, Maine, studying Chemistry. She looked vaguely familiar, and I wondered if we had been in classes together. Carly and Jenna were sophomores majoring in dance. I noticed Jacob's eyes light up a little bit at this piece of news, and made a mental note to supervise the two of them closely. Bella was sitting at the end of the table, and she was the last to introduce herself.

"My name is Bella Swan," she said quietly. "I'm a junior from Phoenix, Arizona, and I'm majoring in Creative Writing."

She didn't make eye contact with anyone at the table, and I found myself wondering how someone as reserved and obviously shy as she was had gotten a job as a tour guide. The standard personality type for the job was outgoing and Type A, usually a little overbearing. Alice was a great example of that. Bella was... well, she was different.

Jacob nudged me with his elbow and I realized I'd been staring silently at Bella. Oops. And now everyone was looking at her. Her face was cherry red. I cleared my throat and everyone turned back to me.

"Alright, let's begin. Turn to page seven of your manuals."

~||x||~

After five hours in a room with the new hires, I was starting to go a little stir-crazy. The other annoying thing about working with groups of girls is they tend to hit on me. A lot. Again, I realize this may sound conceited, but it's true. In the last hour of training alone, I was accidentally-on-purpose groped, bumped into, or flashed a piece of skin at least ten times. Six of those were from Lauren, who, it turns out, was in a couple of my lab classes junior year. She wouldn't stop talking about what a coincidence it was that we would be working together. It was completely transparent and more than a little annoying.

The only girl who wasn't hitting on me, strangely enough, was the one I couldn't stop staring at. Bella Swan was a complete mystery to me, and she became more of an enigma as time went on. She didn't speak a lot, but when she did, she was articulate and smart. After her initial quiet and somewhat shaky introduction, she got louder and more confident. She had obviously taken detailed notes on Alice's tour, because her questions were always relevant and on point, unlike most of the other trainees in the room. She still tended to break out into a deep blush when spoken to, but it was kind of endearing, in a funny sort of way. I considered asking Alice to invite her to dinner with us, a kind of group hangout situation so I could learn more about this strange, quiet girl. Dinner with Alice and Jasper wouldn't break any of Rosalie's guidelines, I was reasonably sure.

I was working up the nerve to suggest it to Alice, subtly of course, so she wouldn't go overboard and try to fabricate some kind of romantic intent on my part, when Jacob approached Bella. We were winding up for the day, and everyone had kind of broken off into groups. Bella was sitting by herself, organizing her binder.

"You wouldn't by any chance have family in Washington, would you Bella?" he asked, smiling widely. I leaned my head toward them, trying to eavesdrop without being too obvious. I wasn't sure what he was playing at, seeing as Bella had clearly said she was from Arizona, but I didn't like the way he was looking at her.

"Yeah, I was going to ask you if you knew my dad," she replied. Her dad? Interesting. Maybe her parents were divorced. I suddenly had a string of new questions about her life, and before I could stop myself I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye. No blush, no stutter. She even had a small smile on her face. Weird, I was beginning to think the girl couldn't hold a conversation without turning into a tomato. It seemed I was wrong. "La Push is close to Forks, right?"

"Yeah! Just fifteen minutes away. You're Charlie's Bella, huh? I knew you were at school here, but I never thought I'd actually meet you. Your dad talks about you all the time."

I frowned down at the handouts I was stacking. Usually when Jacob hit on girls, he lost interest quickly. He rarely had any kind of connection with them. The tone in his voice was different, off from the flirting banter he usually used. It was possible, I supposed, that he was only interested in friendship. I snorted. Right, friendship.

"You know," he continued, "I'm pretty sure my dad has a picture of the two of us making mud pies one summer. I think I'm in a diaper and you're wearing a pair of swim trunks."

She laughed, a clear, tinkling sound that made my heart beat a little faster. I scowled and slammed my papers down, not wanting to hear anymore. It's not like it mattered if Jacob knew her dad. So they had a little history, so what? I didn't know her. No big deal.

When I turned to grab my coat, Alice was watching me with a small smirk on her face.

"You ready for dinner?" she said sweetly. I shrugged and slung my coat over my back.

"I guess. Is it just you and me tonight?"

"I was thinking I'd ask Bella to come along, and Jasper's going to meet us too."

My eyes flickered back to where Bella was standing with Jacob. He was leaning into her now, and she didn't look the least bit uncomfortable. My frown deepened.

"She looks busy, and I really don't feel like spending my dinner hour with Jacob."

"Nah, they're just talking," she said. "Bella!"

Bella stopped talking and looked over at Alice with a smile. I couldn't help but notice that she had really pretty, big brown eyes. I normally didn't go for brown eyes, they were flat and kind of boring, but Bella's eyes were different. Maybe she wore contacts. I looked down at my hands and focused on pulling on my gloves far more carefully than was strictly necessary.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Alice. Were you ready to go?"

Jacob looked annoyed, which made me grin. Anything that annoyed Jacob was good in my books.

"Yeah, Edward and I are going over to meet Jasper at Collis. You're coming, right?"

Her eyes flicked over to me for a second and she started to blush again. "Uh, I guess. I mean, I don't want to intrude or anything..."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Edward doesn't mind, and you know how much Jasper likes you. Come on, grab your stuff."

As Bella gathered her things, Alice turned toward Jacob and gave him a cheery wave. "See you tomorrow, Jacob."

I shot him a cocky smile and followed Alice and Bella out the door.

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**A/N: So this is something I've been working on for a while now. The title is a reference to the tour guide impulse to walk backwards in front of a group. I'm almost ashamed to use it, because it was very much against the rules at my college.  
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**Did you work a part-time job while you were a student? What was it?  
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	2. Chapter 2

**SM owns Twilight. I own a tour guide name tag from my alma mater.  
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**WriteOnTime and Daisy3853 are my heroes. I'm making them capes and masks as we speak.**

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**BPOV**

I couldn't believe this was happening to me. Alice was skipping just ahead of Edward and me, kicking up snow and talking a mile a minute about something I honestly didn't care about because she was dragging me along to dinner with _Edward Masen_, and that was all I could really focus on at the moment.

I met Alice in the fall at the library. I was sitting in my usual corner, surrounded by textbooks and trying desperately not to fail my first Biology test of the semester, when she crashed into my table and dropped her backpack on the floor.

"Do you mind if I sit with you? Everywhere else is full."

I said yes, and a friendship was born.

She was studying for an Art History class, and seemed surprised that a Creative Writing major would be taking Biology her junior year. I was trying to finish up my general education requirements, and the intro level Biology course happened to satisfy two outstanding reqs. So there I was, stuck in a class that most people took their first semester. The class was packed with freshman, and even more annoyingly, I was doing poorly. My brain just wasn't wired for the sciences. Luckily, Alice had a friend who taught a large group tutoring session for that very class, and she passed along the information to me. That friend was Edward Masen.

Biology was suddenly my favorite class.

Edward's tutoring group met twice a week, and I showed up for every single one for the rest of the semester. There were at least fifty other people in the group, so I stayed in the back, never asked questions, and never spoke to anyone. As far as I know, he didn't ever see me sitting there in the back left corner, scribbling notes and doodling faces with dark, intense eyes and strong square jaws on my notepad. I loved watching him move around at the front of the room, gesturing emphatically and explaining Punnett squares and basic cell anatomy in his low, masculine voice. Okay, I admit it, I ogled shamelessly, but I did get something out of the experience. I ended up with a B in the class.

When Alice found out that I had been drooling over Edward from afar, she got really excited and started making elaborate plans to introduce the two of us. She insisted that we would get along wonderfully and that he would "adore" me. I was skeptical. Edward wasn't the kind of guy who typically found me appealing. He was gorgeous, smart, obviously talented and outgoing. I was introverted and soft-spoken, not to mention fairly average in the looks department. Besides, even thinking about talking to him made my face go bright red and my heart start beating a million miles a minute. There was no way I'd ever be able to carry on a normal conversation with him.

I managed to dodge Alice's match-making attempts all semester. Her boyfriend, Jasper, kindly gave me the heads up every time she planned any kind of encounter between Edward and me, although he told me I was being silly and that Edward was a great guy. He managed to keep his mouth shut about it too, so she stayed in the dark about the fact that I was going out of my way to not meet a guy who made me swoon when he talked about anaerobic respiration.

When the applications for campus tour guides came out in November, Alice begged me to fill one out. "We could work together!" she squealed. "I know you'll get the job, you'd be perfect for it."

I applied as a joke, knowing I wasn't the type of person who would be good at a job like that. Alice just shook her head and smiled. And then I got an interview. And a second interview. And suddenly I was standing at the back of a room, wearing an ugly green winter jacket and watching Edward Masen introduce himself to a roomful of prospective students and their parents.

Alice watched me smugly from her position behind him, knowing she had finally gotten the two of us in the same room together. I felt sick. I knew, of course, that Edward worked with her, but I had planned on having some time to adjust to the idea of being co-workers, and to plan multiple escape routes if he ever got too close to me.

I know it seems ridiculous that I would want to avoid meeting someone who so obviously fascinated me, but I preferred he remain an unknown: just a pretty face with a nice voice who I could ogle from the back of the room. Okay, that sounds a little creepy, but you know what I mean. There's way less pressure involved in admiring someone from afar, and a whole lot less disappointment.

"So, how do you and Alice know each other?" Edward's voice pulled me out of my reverie. Alice had stopped talking to us and was now on her cell phone, probably telling Jasper we were on our way. "I thought I knew most of Alice's friends."

His eyes crinkled in the corners when he smiled. Edward Masen was smiling at me. My face started flushing again. I hadn't blushed this much in one day since I was seventeen.

"Um, we met at the library." Talking to him was going to be difficult if he insisted on being so handsome every second like that.

"Alice? In a library?"

She turned at the sound of her name and stuck her tongue out at him, wrinkling her nose and crossing her eyes.

"Careful, or your face will stick like that," he taunted, laughing. His laugh made my insides go a little gooey. I wondered if it was medically possible for a voice to melt your internal organs. My lungs were already feeling a little squishy.

Thankfully I didn't have long to think about that question, as we had reached the Collis Center. Jasper was waiting for us outside. I rushed up to him and hooked my arm through his.

"Jasper!" I exclaimed loudly. "Long time no see! How the heck are you?"

Edward looked confused and Alice was glaring at me, but Jasper just grinned in a lazy yet understanding way and patted my hand.

"Doin' okay, Bee," he laughed. "How was your first day?"

"Can't complain," I said with a shrug, letting him lead me inside. Alice sighed loudly and turned to talk to Edward.

"You know she's gonna give you an earful later, right?" Jasper murmured, nodding in Alice's direction. I glanced over at her just in time to see her raise an eyebrow at me and pout her lips at Jasper.

"Totally worth it. I'm dying here, Jas. Save me?"

He groaned a little as we headed toward the café. "I don't know what the big deal is," he said, still speaking in low undertones so Alice and Edward wouldn't hear. "You're both good-looking and single. Simple math. Get to it."

"I am nowhere near his league, and you know it," I hissed. "You should have seen all the girls flirting with him today. Lauren Mallory practically licked him halfway through our training session today, and he didn't even bat an eye. And she's like a million times hotter than me."

"Well I don't know Miss Mallory, but I do know Edward. He's a good man, Bee, not some untouchable Adonis. Puts his pants on one leg at a time and everything."

"I don't want to know how you know about his wardrobe-related habits," I joked. "Is there something you should tell me? I doubt Alice would be a better hag than me."

"Are you making the moves on my man?" Alice called, pulling away from Edward and jogging to catch up.

"I was just telling him that if he ever decided to play for the other team I would make a good hag."

"Please, you are nowhere near fashion-conscious enough," she said, grabbing his free hand. "You need to be able to mock fashion don'ts and look fabulous doing it. Trust me, I have experience."

"I'm not sure, but I think you just insulted my clothes."

She laughed and rolled her eyes. "I've been trying to get you to slash and burn your closet since we met. Are you really asking if I like you're clothes?"

"Fair enough," I sighed. I grabbed a tray and made my way through the line, determined to ignore the fact that Edward was right behind me, so close I could feel his body heat.

As we approached the register to pay, he cleared his throat. I started to panic. He was going to talk to me again. I looked for a quick escape but Jasper and Alice were already sitting at a table waiting for us.

"So how long have you known Jasper?"

The question was so unexpected that I stumbled a little. Jesus, what was wrong with me? It was like his mere presence took my motor functions down three levels. Before I could drop my food and go spilling across the floor, he reached out and grabbed my arm, steadying me.

He didn't let go right away, and it was as if I had been hit by a freeze ray. He was _touching_ me. Okay, it wasn't skin on skin contact, but still. My face felt like it was on fire. After a second or so, his hand loosened and I stepped away, practically running to the register.

"Sorry," he muttered.

"No, no, my fault," I said, tossing my meal card at the student worker and tapping my foot anxiously. The girl behind the cash register was moving really slowly, and Edward was still standing right behind me.

"Um, so anyway. Jasper?"

I grabbed my card back and looked over at him. He had this funny look on his face, like he was concentrating on a really hard math problem.

"I don't know, sometime after I met Alice." I started walking towards the table where Alice and Jasper sat. They were sitting on one side of the table, so Edward and I would have to sit next to each other. Drat. "Why do you ask?"

He shrugged and tucked his card into his wallet. "You two seem close, that's all."

"Nah, we're just friends. I mean obviously we're just friends because he's dating Alice. Alice is my friend. And I don't really like blondes much. Or blue eyes. Green eyes are nice."

He was still staring at me, but his expression had shifted. Now it was like he was checking to make sure I didn't have an extra head or something.

"Don't get me wrong I don't have some kind of obsession with green eyes or anything." Oh God. I did not just say that. Edward's green eyes got a little wider and I turned away before I could say anything else horribly embarrassing. Jasper and Alice watched us approach with matching smiles.

I slid into the seat across from Alice and shoved a French fry in my mouth.

"Thanks for leaving me unsupervised," I whispered to Alice before Edward got to the table. She just beamed at me and then turned toward Edward.

"I'm so glad you guys finally got to meet," she said cheerily. "Edward, did you know that Bella was in your Biology 11 tutoring group last semester?"

I choked on my soda and spit a little out on myself. The blood drained from my face, and I gave Alice my very best horrified look. She preened, clearly proud of herself. Jasper shook his head and gave me a sympathetic little grimace.

"Really?" Edward asked, seemingly oblivious to our exchange. He gave me a pleasant sort of smile, and I struggled to rearrange my face into something that didn't reflect complete and total mortification.

"Yeah," I said with a shrug, staring down at my tray. "I was taking the class for the gen eds and I wasn't doing too well. Alice told me about your group. You're a good teacher."

"I don't remember you," he mused, still looking at me. I squirmed a little under his gaze.

"Well I didn't really talk much. I'm kind of introverted."

"Bella, don't be so modest," Alice piped up. "You're obviously good with people or you wouldn't have gotten a job with the tour guides."

I shrugged again, because I honestly had no good reason why I was hired. My interviews had gone well enough, but I never got the impression that I had wowed anybody. Thankfully Jasper spoke up, drawing the attention back off of me. "Are you guys throwing the usual bash this weekend?"

Alice and Edward both started talking about a party they'd all be going to over the weekend, and I was allowed to quietly focus on my food.

Sitting so close to Edward and listening to him talk about kegs and beer pong was surreal. On the other hand, it was also kind of hilarious to hear the silky voice that I associated with nucleotides and cellular metabolism going on about stuff that normal college guys talked about. He seemed more like the type to pull all-nighters and lock himself in some smelly lab for hours on end doing research. I had never pictured him doing keg stands or grinding on some girl in a dirty basement party.

Okay, that's a lie. I had a reoccurring fantasy that involved Edward pressed against my back, sweaty and muscular, his hips moving with my own—

"Okay, Bella?"

Crap. I looked around, and all three of my tablemates were staring at me expectantly.

"Uh..." Alice was nodding vigorously at me, her eyes as big as they could go. She looked like a my-size bobble head doll. "Yes?"

"Great!" She split into a wide grin, and Edward and Jasper were smiling too. "So we'll pre-party at Edward's and then head over to Emmett's afterwards. It's better to get to your Newbie-Palooza a little in the bag anyway."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Bel-la," she sighed, "Please try to keep up. We're talking about the party."

"Oh, right." I couldn't ask any more questions without revealing that I hadn't been paying attention. I would just ask Jasper later.

Not long after that, Edward excused himself. He promised to see Alice and me tomorrow and gave Jasper a cheery wave. Right before he left, he darted forward and ruffled Alice's hair, just like he had earlier in the afternoon. Before her face did more than register her annoyance, he ran away, laughing as he went.

"I swear, some days he's like an overgrown child," she muttered, pulling out a compact out of her purse and trying to fix her hair in the tiny mirror. Once she was satisfied, she clicked it shut and turned to me. "So?"

I pushed my tray away and leaned back in my chair. "So what?"

"Come on, don't be like that. What did you think of Edward? Isn't he great?"

"Well he's just as good-looking as I remember," I sighed, resigned to her questioning. She waved a hand dismissively.

"Of course he's hot," she said. Jasper rolled his eyes. "But what did you think of _him_? He's such a wonderful guy. He's a total catch, don't you think?"

"We didn't really talk much. Except I accidentally told him I like green eyes." I blushed at the memory. "I can't believe you didn't prepare me a little for today. He probably thought I sounded like a lunatic."

"I don't know," she said with a tiny mischievous grin. "He couldn't stop looking at you today during training."

"Stop it," I said sternly. "Don't lie about something like that." I couldn't be sure she was lying, because I had done everything possible to avoid looking at or interacting with Edward during our training. I knew that if I started looking at him I would probably say or do something stupid, and now that I had this job, I didn't really want to lose it.

"I'm not lying," she insisted. "He kept looking over at you. I think he was jealous when Jacob was talking to you at the end of the day."

"That's ridiculous. Jacob was just being nice, he knows my dad. Small world, huh?"

Jasper smiled and grabbed Alice's and my trays, heading over to the conveyer belt that led to the kitchen. Alice stood and hooked her arm around my waist, leading me toward the door.

"Edward and Jacob don't really get along," she said conversationally. "And Jacob obviously likes you. He's got a thing for petite, pretty brunettes."

I rolled my eyes. Alice insisted on calling me pretty or beautiful or, my personal favorite, comely, every chance she got. Granted, she was a little tipsy and had just finished reading _Pride and Prejudice_ at the time, but I teased her about it whenever I could work it in to a conversation.

"He asked me about my dad and we talked about fishing. I don't think that's a recipe for romance."

"You know what? The self-deprecation is getting old. You're cute, and smart, and you've got a lot to offer. There is no reason why Edward or any other guy would not find you appealing."

I rolled my eyes. "Fine, you're right. I'm a catch."

Jasper gave me a smile and squeezed my shoulder. "One day you're going to believe that."

"If you say so, Jas." I gave him a wry smile and turned to head toward my dorm. "See you tomorrow, Alice?"

"I'll be there."

I waved goodbye and started to go. I was less than half a block away when I heard Alice's voice calling after me.

"And wear something cute!"

I chuckled and kept walking. Only Alice.

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**A/N: I am totally floored by your response to the last chapter. Thank you so much. I have a couple of details for you, just so we're all on the same page. This is going to be a short story, about 10 chapters. It's rated M because of language, some heavy drinking, and a little hanky panky. There won't be a lemon.  
**

**A lot of awesome college jobs in this group. Lots of food service and library workers. I was always jealous of the student librarians, it seemed like a good gig. As you may or may not have been able to tell, I was a campus tour guide. We did not walk backwards. :)**

**What was your major? **


	3. Chapter 3

**SM owns Twilight. I own a tour guide name tag from my alma mater. **

**Every hyphen in this chapter is courtesy of WriteOnTime. Daisy3853 wears meanpants. They're sexy.**

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**EPOV**

Bella Swan was infuriating.

Well, infuriating was maybe too strong a word. Confounding, bewildering, captivating. Utterly perplexing.

Our dinner with Jasper and Alice raised more questions than it answered. She was comfortable with Jasper; that much was obvious. As soon as we reached the Collis Center she rushed away from me as if I had bitten her or something, looping one dainty arm through his. The look on Alice's face was hilarious, a mixture of annoyance and anger. Did Bella harbor some kind of feelings for Jasper? Did Alice know?

Alice sighed and turned to me. "So, what do you think of the new guides?"

I was still staring after Bella and Jasper, who were conversing in low whispers. Jasper laughed and Bella gave him a soft smile and rolled her eyes. She had a beautiful smile—objectively speaking, of course. I gave a noncommittal shrug.

"Oh come on," Alice continued, poking me in the side. I jumped and glared down at her. She grinned and nodded toward Bella. "What do you think?"

"How did Bella get hired?" I asked, not answering her question on purpose. "She's not exactly the classic personality type."

Alice squinted at me for a second, and then shrugged with another brilliant smile, hurrying after Jasper and Bella. "She got hired the same way everyone else did. She filled out an app and went through the interview process. And I may have told Esme how awesome she is... many, many times."

She winked and skipped ahead of me then, calling out something about Bella hitting on Jasper. I should have known. Esme Cullen was the Director of Visitor Programs, and she and Alice were extremely close. Alice spent a lot of time hanging out in Esme's office, and I'm pretty sure she had more pull with her than Rose or Leah, our other coordinator. Trust Alice to use her power to get her cute friend a job.

Her cute friend who may or may not have feelings for her boyfriend. I couldn't figure Bella out. One minute she was chatting with Jasper and Alice and looking completely normal, and the next she was stuttering and red-faced, tripping over a speck of dust as she scrambled to get away from me. I also had the distinct impression that she didn't want me to know that she had been in my study session last semester. Was it possible I had said something rude to her in class one day? I was certain I would have remembered her, but that whole tutoring gig had been so mind-numbingly dull that I blocked most of it out for my own sanity.

At least she agreed to come over to my apartment before the party. I was just going to ignore the stunned, slightly confused look on her face that led me to believe she had no idea what we were talking about when Alice informed her of our plans. I'd never met a girl so apparently reluctant to spend time with me. I always thought of myself as a nice guy, approachable, friendly. Bella had me doubting all of that.

The next morning, I showed up to training bright and early. Rosalie and Leah had scheduled a question session to help the new guides learn how to react to common questions that parents and students asked on tours. They usually liked experienced guides to sit in on those and help out, and, let's face it, the opportunity to pepper Bella with questions was too good to pass up. I hoped she'd let her guard down a little if the questions were tied into work. She was interesting, and if I couldn't get to know her in a conventional way, I was going to take advantage of my training responsibilities.

The group of them wandered in, looking hung-over and exhausted, at nine. I almost laughed at the Stooges' bloodshot eyes—I had been awake since six, an unfortunate side effect of constant studying for the last several years. Studying for my MCAT had been the worst; even six months later the memory made me shudder. I had gotten to the point where I was physically incapable of sleeping past seven unless I was hung-over or completely sleep-deprived.

The girls seemed moderately more put-together, and Bella was carrying her binder. She was the only one, but after watching her take notes through Alice's entire tour, I couldn't say I was surprised. I smiled at her, and to my delight she smiled back before ducking her head and paging furiously through her notebook. Progress. Maybe we could be friends after all.

I considered approaching her, but at that moment Leah stormed in, Jacob at her heels. She looked cranky, but then, her default facial expression these days was a surly scowl. Leah was actually the nicer of our two coordinators, but her boyfriend had dumped her during finals, and she had been on a mission to make everyone's lives miserable ever since. The worst part was that he had left her for another guide, a girl named Emily. Further proof that you shouldn't dip your pen in the company ink. I hadn't seen Emily since before finals, but she was certain to be at the party for the new guides. Alice and I had a bet going about how many drinks it would take before Leah took a swing at her.

"Listen up!" Leah barked. The new guides jumped and Bella looked up with a wild, slightly panicked look in her eyes. "All of you get up here. We're going to see how well you studied."

She pointed to a row of chairs at the front of the room, one for each of them. They shuffled up, eyes darting between me, Leah, and Jacob. Bella clung to her binder like a life preserver. Leah clamped a hand on her shoulder and she jumped.

"Leave the binder," she growled. Bella dropped it like it had burned her, pages scattering every which way. She eyed the mess for a second, as if considering whether Leah would yell at her for straightening the papers. I felt a flash of anger at Leah, taking in the wide, terrified expression on Bella's face.

"I'll get it," I offered, flashing her another smile with the hope it would calm her down. I bent over and gathered the pile of papers, bringing everything with me to a nearby seat. I started putting things away, glancing at her messy scrawls as I did so. As I slipped one sheet into a folder pocket, I saw she had filled the edge of the page with doodles. Containing my smile, I tilted the paper to get a closer look. A half-dozen pair of eyes were sketched there, and one completed face. A man? Or else a really unfortunate looking woman. It was hard to tell. Art clearly wasn't her strong suit.

A terrified little squeak pulled my attention from the page. Bella was staring at me, frozen in her chair, while Leah told them how the question-and-answer session would work. Our eyes locked, and I forgot why we were there and what I was supposed to be doing.

"Bella, is it?" Leah's harsh voice broke through my stupor and both of us jumped. I cleared my throat and tried to wipe my expression blank. It was weird how easily she seemed to be able to distract me.

"Since you seem so _well-prepared_," the sarcasm was unmistakable in Leah's tone, "why don't you tell us how a student can become involved in intramural sports here at Dartmouth?"

Bella stuttered out a pretty good answer, but Leah kept pressing her. Jacob and I sat back, unable to pipe up because Leah kept pressing for more details, asking more and more obscure questions.

"Cool out, Leah," Jacob muttered after about an hour. "Let 'em breathe."

She growled, honest to God _growled_, and walked out of the room without saying anything else. Jacob and I looked at each other for a minute, then stood up.

"Right, um... take a break guys. We'll do something a bit more fun in ten minutes."

Bella hurried directly to me. I grinned at her, but she rushed right past and grabbed her binder off the seat where I had placed it. She clutched it to her chest and then stared at me like a frightened rabbit.

"Th-thanks for picking up my stuff."

I sighed and nodded, frowning a bit when Jacob came over and her posture relaxed.

"You did great up there, Bella," he said, flashing his patented douchebag smile. "Don't let Leah get to you, she's been a huge bitch lately."

She smiled back, and I frowned some more. It shouldn't bother me that she was reserving her smiles for Jacob, or that she was totally at ease with Jasper but could barely speak to me. It shouldn't, but it did. It figured that the one time I actually wouldn't mind getting to know a girl better, I scared her to death.

I left the conference room and headed down toward the office. Alice was supposed to help out at some point today, and I was hoping Rosalie would be around and in a good mood. Emmett wanted me to bring my stereo equipment over to his apartment for the party, but I hadn't been able to touch base with him since Christmas. Even though Rose and I weren't best friends, I could always count on her to deliver a message.

Sure enough, Alice was there, laughing with Rose about something. Leah was sulking in the opposite corner, pounding down a cup of coffee and not making eye contact with anyone. The girl needed to have some rebound sex, and fast.

"Morning, Edward," Alice sang, hopping up on Rosalie's desk.

"Hey, Alice. Il Duce."

Rosalie scowled at me, but Alice just grinned. She thought the two of us were endlessly entertaining. She said she enjoyed the way we were able to take something as simple as friendship and make it as difficult as possible. We pretended we didn't know what she was talking about.

"Leah seems to think you boys didn't go over the right topics yesterday," Rose said, glancing over at Leah.

"They're completely unprepared," Leah snarled, turning to face us. "I don't know how you expect them to be ready by the end of tomorrow."

"Edward and Jacob have it under control," Alice said brightly. "In fact, Edward and I were talking about how a dry run would be a good way to spend the rest of the morning."

I did my best to look like I knew what Alice was talking about. Truthfully, Leah was right. Bella, Angela, and Carly had managed to hold their own in the question-and-answer period, but the rest of them had fumbled through a lot of the basic information.

"All they need is a little practice," I said lightly. "We'll take them out with the binders, it'll be fine. Have you seen Em today?"

"Not yet, but we're going out to dinner tonight."

"Great. I need you to tell him to bring his jeep over for the stereo equipment tonight. I can't fit it all in my Volvo."

"It always takes you forever once you start playing with electronics," Rose grumbled. "He'll get all wrapped up in that stupid stereo and talking about the party and we'll never make our reservations."

"Bella has a truck," Alice said.

I looked at her for a second, not really understanding what she meant.

"So...what?"

"So," she sighed, "you could ask her for help. That way Emmett wouldn't have to miss his date tonight and we can still get everything set up for the party. Have Emmett leave you a key to his apartment. Jasper can help you get everything moved."

"You're going to let Jasper out of your sight for a whole night?" I asked skeptically. The two were practically connected at the hip.

"Don't be silly," she laughed. "I'm going to supervise, of course."

Rose rolled her eyes and shot me a miniscule smile. "I'll get him to leave it under the mat by the door. Just call his cell when you get there, he can buzz you into the building."

"Don't I even get a say in this?" I protested. "Bella doesn't even like me, why would she let me borrow her truck?"

Alice rolled her eyes. "She'll help you because she's a good person. Ask her. I bet she'll do it."

"Right. Well, I'm heading back in there. If we're doing a dry run we're going to need you, Alice. Leah, you coming back?"

I did my best to give her a nice, friendly smile. She growled at me.

"Okay, so, that's a 'no'?"

I didn't wait for a response. She had access to a lot of sharp, pointy objects on her desk, and she still had a hell of a vendetta against men in general. I didn't want to risk it.

Alice bounced off Rose's desk and followed me out into the hall.

"Are you going to ask her?"

"You're really, really annoying."

"But you're still going to ask her."

I stopped just outside the conference room and glared down at her. She didn't flinch.

"Seriously, Edward? I'm friends with Rosalie. You really think you're going to scare me with that face?"

I sighed and started to pull the door open, but she grabbed my arm and pulled me back.

"I know it seems like she doesn't like you, but you make her really nervous."

I ran my fingers through my hair and pulled a face at her. "I've noticed. Why?"

She rolled her eyes again. "Edward, you're a good-looking guy. Of course you make her nervous. She's shy. I've been trying to introduce the two of you since I met her in the fall, but she always managed to get out of it somehow."

She narrowed her eyes a little and I took a step back. Suddenly I was a little afraid of _her_. Alice was a planner, and she didn't like it when someone messed with the plan. I wondered briefly if Alice meant she'd been wanting to set the two of up since the fall. Out of all of my attached friends, Alice was the most verbal about wishing I'd take the time to date a little. She didn't believe me when I protested that I simply didn't have the energy and that I was waiting for the right time. It certainly wouldn't have been her first attempt at fixing me up with one of her friends. I thought of Bella and me out together in a restaurant, her looking soft and shy, me slightly nervous and grinning. A flicker of disappointment pulled at my stomach, but before I could really think about it Alice started talking again.

"So you're going to go in there and be your charming self, and sometime during this miserable tour, you're going to pluck up your courage and ask her to help you out with her truck. She's going to say yes. You can thank me later."

Then she breezed past me into the room and clapped her hands loudly, calling the group to order. It took me a couple of seconds to remember that I was supposed to be in there with her and Jacob. I slipped in behind her and snuck over to where Jacob stood in the corner.

"About time you came in," he muttered. "Where's Leah? Did you lock her in a closet somewhere?"

"She's in the office with Rose. Didn't want to come out for practice tours I guess."

He groaned a little. "Man, they aren't ready for that. It's going to take twice as long as it should."

I smiled a little and shrugged. "Guess that depends on who Alice puts you with."

He looked over at her in a panic, but it was too late. She had already divided the newbies into groups.

"Mike, Tyler, Jenna, you'll go with Jacob." I heard him grumble a little before he turned his smile back on.

"Okay, out front, grab your jackets and your binders and let's get started."

Alice took Lauren, Jessica, and Carly, which was incredibly kind of her. Lauren hadn't really stopped flirting with me, and I was pretty sure it was going to get worse before it got better. As Alice led the three girls out of the conference room, she brushed against me, rubbing her breast over my arm.

"See you later," she giggled. Then she winked and skipped after Alice.

I sighed heavily and shook my head a little before turning back to my group: Bella, Angela, and Eric.

"Ready? It's pretty cold out there, so make sure you grab some gloves and a hat. I'll show you guys as many of the indoor stops as I can, but most of the tour is supposed to be outside, so unless it's really too cold to be standing around outside, try to stick to the regular route."

They all nodded and started to grab their things. As groups went, I probably had the best one. Bella and Angela knew enough to be able to muddle through the tour, and Eric was pretty good with straight memorization. His delivery sucked, but he could spit out facts word for word from the training materials if given enough time and encouragement.

I had them alternating as we went, struggling the information and sometimes reading straight from their manuals. It didn't matter, really; at this point it was just important that they kept repeating it over and over again. Once in a while I stepped in with a factoid or a stupid joke that was guaranteed to have parents smiling (rule of thumb: most teenagers were not amused).

About halfway through, I manned up and walked over to Bella. We were trudging down a barely-shoveled sidewalk, and she seemed entirely focused on putting one foot in front of the other. I assumed it was because of her apparently substandard balance. I cleared my throat and her left foot slid a little on a patch of ice. Instinctively, I reached out for her arm and steadied her.

When she looked up at me, her face was beautifully flush.

"Thanks," she mumbled.

"Of course." I offered her a bright smile and she cleared her throat uncomfortably. Before I could lose my nerve or think about it too hard, I kept talking. "Listen, I need a favor."

Her brown eyes widened. "From me?"

"No, from the Pope. Yes, from you," I laughed. "Alice says you have a truck, and I have to move some stereo equipment tonight. The speakers don't really fit in my trunk, and I was wondering if—"

"You want to borrow my truck?" she said doubtfully. "I mean, I guess, but I have to warn you, Big Red is really old and her clutch is kind of sticky."

"Big Red?" I laughed.

She frowned at me, and for once her face wasn't bright pink. She looked a little ticked off. "Are you making fun of my truck's name? _After_ I generously agreed to let you use her?"

"Of course not."

"I thought not," she sniffed. Annoyed Bella was kind of cute. Like a two-week-old kitten hissing at a big dog.

"So, did you want to come with me right away after training tonight, or—?"

"Come with you where?" she asked blankly.

"To my apartment," I said slowly. "You know, pick up my equipment, load it into your truck. Jasper and Alice will meet us at Emmett's apartment building and help unload the speakers. Well, Jasper will help. Alice will watch and be bossy."

"I thought...I thought you just wanted to use my truck," she stuttered. "Why do you need me to come?"

"I guess you don't _have_ to come. But it won't take long, and I'm sure we'll go out and grab a beer afterwards. Do you have plans tonight?"

Another picture formed in my head: Bella and me sitting with Alice and Jasper in a crowded pub, laughing and just hanging out. I smiled.

"No. Not exactly."

"You don't exactly have plans?" I teased, feeling much surer of myself now. "Well, here's your chance to make some. Don't disappoint Alice, she'll blame me."

She frowned a little and looked up at me. There was a tiny pucker in the skin between her eyebrows. "Why would she blame you if I was busy?"

"Well for one, Alice isn't going to believe that whole 'no plans, exactly' excuse," I said frankly. She looked back down at her feet, but I thought I saw a smile on her face. It made me braver. "And two, she's got this crazy theory that you're scared of me or something."

Her eyes got bigger and she sputtered a little. I chose to ignore her reaction and laughed lightly. "I know, crazy, right? So save me from Alice and come with us. I'll buy you a drink and everything."

When she looked up, I made my best silly puppy dog face, sticking my lower lip out as far as it would go and simultaneously lifting my eyebrows up and squishing them together. She snorted and then slapped a hand over her mouth.

"Um, Edward?"

"Yes?" I kept my face frozen in its pout, batting my eyes a few times for good measure. If I made myself completely ridiculous, she wouldn't be afraid of me. That was my new working theory, anyway. Alice liked it when I was goofy. Maybe Bella would as well. Too bad it had the added bonus of making me really unattractive. Oh, well; according to Alice, attractive was the problem.

"We're at the next stop."

"Huh?"

I turned around and saw Angela and Eric staring at us. Angela looked a little put out, and Eric was gaping. I straightened up and tucked my lip back.

"Ahem. Right. Uh, Angela, life sciences. Go."

Bella started giggling under her breath, and I ignored Angela in favor of memorizing the way she sounded when she laughed. The rest of the tour sped by as I gave up trying to be a good supervisor and instead focused on surreptitiously watching Bella. I hadn't felt so drawn to someone in a long time, and it was frustrating and intriguing all at once. I was never one to stare stupidly at a woman, but the more I looked, the more I wanted to know.

She was completely graceless as she walked, tripping and tottering across the sidewalk. She almost looked drunk. I finally had to ask her how long it was going to take her to get her sea legs. She glared and shot back a comment about her shoes not being cut out for walking on the icy sidewalks. Every time she slid even slightly out of control, though, I caught her. Angela slipped once and I was so busy watching Bella that I let her fall on her ass.

Oops.

The look on her face when she gave her tour stops was downright sweet. I had her pegged as shy and introverted, but I had a feeling she wasn't, not really. She was too natural in front of our small group, the words flowing too easily. She needed practice, sure, but she could do this job. She would be great at it eventually. And she had no idea.

We walked back to McNutt after finishing our tour. It was lunchtime, and I could see the two other groups ahead of us. The walk-through had taken twice as long as a tour was supposed to take, but we had also stopped at every indoor and outdoor spot, showing them the classrooms they could usually stop in and giving them pointers on their delivery. Admittedly, I was also a little distracted during the second half of the tour.

When we got back inside for lunch, I told Alice that Bella and I would meet her and Jasper at Emmett's after training wound up for the day. The smirk she sent my way had me biting back sarcastic comments. I almost, _almost_ asked Bella if she just wanted to go with Alice and Jasper and let me take care of the speakers, but I wasn't annoyed enough to give up the opportunity to talk to her alone. I wasn't about to screw this up for myself, whatever _this_ was.

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**A/N: Oh, Edward. What will we do with you? Thanks for your responses to the last chapter! I was a journalism and Spanish major. This weeks question: Have you ever dated a co-worker?  
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**Stories I'm loving: Metaphysics by anais mark**

** No Choice by glasscannon(.)lj  
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	4. Chapter 4

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I own a tour guide name tag from my alma mater.**

**WriteOnTime and Daisy3853 are the best betas a girl could ask for. Put _Breaking News_ and _Underexposed _on the top of your to-be-read list!**

**BittenBee made me beautiful banners! I've put them up in my profile (www(.)fanfiction(.)net****/u/1848480/justaskalice)**

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**BPOV**

Edward and I were puttering across town to his apartment, as I silently prayed that my ancient truck didn't choose this day to break down. We made awkward small talk as I drove. Well, it was awkward for me. Edward seemed perfectly at ease. "So how long have you been doing the tour guide thing?" I asked.

"Since my sophomore year. A buddy in my dorm convinced me to apply. It's a good job, better than food service or working at the library."

I coughed. "Yeah, I worked at Baker-Berry last year. It's really quiet in there, but at least you can do your homework while you work."

"Oh, I didn't mean... I'm sure working at the library is great." He shifted in his seat and I cursed myself for being unable to interact with him normally. What was my problem? After spending a whole day walking around with him, I should have lost some of the social retardation I seemed to carry around like a trophy whenever I was near him. I should have. Obviously, I hadn't.

"No, you're right. It was boring." I forced myself to laugh. He glanced over at me and smiled. He had been giving me these weird looks all day, and I didn't know quite what to make of them. When we were on our morning walk-through and I was falling all over the place like a newborn giraffe, he didn't let me hit the ground once. Something about the way his arm wrapped around my waist when I went tumbling made my stomach flip.

"Well, this job is never boring," he answered, turning back to look out the window. "You meet people from all over, and no tour is ever the same. Turn left here."

"I never would have applied for this job if Alice hadn't bullied me into it," I said, making the turn and not looking back over at him. "I'm not very outgoing." I had no idea why I was admitting this to him. Not only was it painfully obvious that I was an introvert, but I was killing my chances of ever interesting him. Edward probably only dated girls who were bubbly and personable, like Alice, or Lauren.

"You're wrong," he said suddenly. I jumped a little, then gave him an incredulous look.

"Excuse me?"

"You're wrong," he said again, crossing his arms as if he was getting ready for a fight. "You may think you're not, but you're just as prepared to do this job as anyone else we hired. You're not obnoxious or really loud or anything, but since when is that the only way to define outgoing? That's my building up there, on the right."

I pulled into an open spot on the street and tried to think of a good response. "You don't know me very well," I finally mumbled.

He shrugged. "Maybe not, but I think you're selling yourself short."

I followed him to his second floor apartment, trying to pretend like it wasn't a big deal that I was about to be alone with him in his apartment. I was ridiculously nervous about the situation, even though Edward had been nothing but nice all day. Jasper was right; he was just a normal guy. A normal, handsome, brilliant, single guy who had starred in my daydreams since September. No big deal.

Edward's apartment was pretty clean, considering he was a 22-year-old man living alone. No pizza boxes or beer bottles on the floor, anyway.

"My stereo equipment is um, in my bedroom," he said. He looked a little uncomfortable, and I tried to figure out what was embarrassing about that sentence. Maybe there was underwear on his floor or something. I shook my head, willing myself to stop thinking about Edward's underwear. "You can wait out here if you want."

"Okay?" It came out as a question, but he nodded quickly and practically ran into what I assumed was his bedroom. He disappeared so fast I almost didn't have time to process it. I wandered over to the wall where his TV sat. It was a big, clunky thing with rabbit ears. It reminded me of my dad's old TV that died when I was about ten years old. He had a collection of DVDs in neat stacks on the shelf below, but I didn't really want to get on the floor to start digging through his titles, so I wandered toward his bookcase instead.

A person's bookcase, or lack thereof, can say a lot about them. In my limited dating experience, and even with some friends I had met in college, I always found there were certain red flags that guaranteed I wouldn't be able see eye-to-eye with a person. Unfortunately, skimming someone's book selection isn't typically something you can do until you're knee-deep into a relationship, or at least several dates in, and the red flags are fairly obvious for other reasons by that point. It was a rare gift to get to peruse his bookshelf before I really knew Edward.

I did a quick scan to determine the ratio of textbook to fiction. He was a pre-med student, so I wasn't surprised to see an entire shelf dedicated to old science textbooks and a thick, scary-looking MCAT prep book. They seemed to be relegated to the one shelf, grouped according to science. Not bad.

He didn't have any comic books or magazines, but he did have a rather dog-eared copy of _The Hobbit _and a handful of well-loved Stephen King novels. A few sci-fi novels followed, then a whole string of autobiographies. There didn't seem to be a rhyme or reason to it, unlike with his textbooks, and I found myself staring at the shelves like they were trying to tell me some deep secret about the man who was noisily disassembling his sound system in the next room. I was so focused that I didn't hear it when he came back into the living area.

"If you want to borrow anything, you're more than welcome," he said quietly. I jumped, then turned around to see him standing rather close to me.

"Oh!" I gasped, falling backwards a little. He rushed forward, but I steadied myself and shot him a hesitant smile. "I'm sorry, you surprised me."

"Sure," he teased, "I saw how you moved out there today. Tell me, is your clumsiness terminal?"

"They've given me six months, tops," I said with a laugh. His answering smile was blinding, and for a second we just stood there staring at each other. It was surreal. Anyone watching us would have thought we were friends, completely comfortable with each other. Of course, I shattered the moment almost immediately by clearing my throat loudly and clapping my hands.

"So, ready to load up Big Red?"

We carried the component pieces down to my truck without any conversation. The speakers weren't heavy, but they were awkward, and I was terrified that I was going to drop something undoubtedly expensive. Luckily, they got loaded into my truck bed easily enough, and I packed a couple of the blankets I kept back there around them so they wouldn't slide too much.

"Emmett doesn't live far from here," Edward said once we'd gotten back in the truck. "It'll be an easy walk tomorrow night, especially with a good liquid jacket."

"Just how crazy do these things get?" I asked nervously, following his directions.

"Eh, that depends on how you define crazy," he said, shrugging. "There's a lot of drinking, and loud music, and junk food. People usually get pretty wasted. But it's a party with good people, and it's a great way to meet everyone without all the pressure. And everyone's acting like an idiot, so it puts you on an even playing field, you know?"

He laughed loudly, clearly remembering something that happened at one of these parties. "Alice is right, it's much better to go in a little drunk. Less intimidating that way. It's a fine line, though. For mine, I was so drunk when I got there that I wished my tour coordinator a happy birthday. Took me months to live that down."

"I'm kind of a lightweight," I admitted. "I've never really been a party kind of girl."

"You'll have fun, I promise." He smiled at me and I felt my stomach twist again, in a not entirely unpleasant way. "Tell you what, stick with me. Don't let Alice drag you anywhere, she's a bad influence."

"Oh, right, I'm sure you're such a saint," I laughed.

He held up three fingers in a Boy Scout salute and crossed his heart, giving me a solemn look. "I'll take care of you. Promise."

Something in the way he said it made me want to giggle uncontrollably, but I reined it in. If I wasn't careful, Edward Masen was going to turn me into a babbling idiot.

"Bella?" He sounded confused.

"Hm?"

"You just drove past the building."

We circled the block, and then circled it again when I realized there wasn't a big enough space in front of the building. "I hate snow," I grumbled, when we finally found a spot two blocks away. "Call Alice and Jasper and have them meet us here, will you? I don't want to lug all this up to Emmett's apartment on our own."

It turned out that Jasper was already on his way over with Alice, so it didn't take them long to get to where we were parked. With the four of us each carrying something, we were able to take everything in one trip, although Alice complained the entire way that she wasn't fit for hard labor. As soon as we got everything into Emmett's apartment, I elbowed her in the stomach. She shot me an annoyed look and shoved me surprisingly hard, sending me back into Edward's chest. He caught me, of course, but he inadvertently grabbed me in a spot near my hips where I'm chronically ticklish. I squealed and twisted away, then promptly wished for a hole to bury myself in. Alice was biting her lips to keep her laughter in. Edward held his hands up defensively, taking several steps away from where I stood hugging my sides.

"Are you okay?" The look on his face confirmed it: he thought I was completely insane.

"Yeah, um, ticklish," I mumbled, turning away from him and looking around for the nearest soft place to curl up and die. A squishy leather chair sat in the corner, so I threw myself into it and pulled out my Blackberry, pretending to occupy myself with my calendar for a while. The boys started assembling everything on the back wall of the living room, and Alice came over to perch next to me on the arm of my chair.

"How's it going?" she whispered conspiratorially. "All systems go?"

"What is that supposed to mean?" I hissed, rolling my eyes. "Have I embarrassed myself enough times today? I don't think so, no. I'm going for an all-time record."

"None of that," she warned. "What did I say?"

"I'm cute, and smart, and a total catch," I deadpanned. She smiled cheerily, as if my words were completely sincere.

"That's right, you are. Now, did you take advantage of your alone time this afternoon or am I going to have to swing more of it tomorrow? You know what, scratch that, I'll do it anyway."

"Alice, I really wish you wouldn't. Just being around him makes me feel like an ugly duckling. He's like a constant hit to my self-esteem. He's not interested, and he's not going to be."

She crinkled her forehead and looked over to where Jasper and Edward were working and talking quietly. Edward laughed out loud at something Jasper had said, and then glanced over at Alice and I. Well, he looked at Alice for about a split-second before his eyes locked on my face. I couldn't look away. I imagined this was what small animals felt like right before getting swallowed whole by a python.

Then he blinked and glanced down, and the spell was broken. His smile still lingered, and I felt almost like he was watching me out of the corner of his eyes. I turned so I couldn't see him, only to find Alice looking at me with her eyebrows raised.

"You were saying?"

"I probably have something on my face?"

She sighed. "You're hopeless. You're coming out with us, right?"

"Do I have to?"

"Yes, your royal hermitude, you have to. It'll be good for you. Come on, we're just going to grab some burgers and a pitcher of beer. We never hang out anymore. Don't you love me?"

"Laying it on a little thick, aren't you?"

"Is it working?"

I pursed my lips and stared her down, trying to gauge how important this was to her. She was right, I'd been spending so much time on school lately that my social life had really suffered. Not that I'd had the busiest of social calendars before this year, but at least I had gone out some. Edward's comment about selling myself short echoed in my head.

"Please? I promise not to push you and Edward together at all tomorrow if you come out tonight." She looked so hopeful, and I reminded myself once again that avoiding a guy I was practically obsessed with was more than a little weird.

"Okay," I relented. "But I'm holding you to that."

"All set," Jasper said. Alice looked up and cocked her head to the side.

"Are you sure you can't make it more... I don't know, compact? There's going to be a ton of people in here tomorrow night."

"The equipment is the size it is," Edward said firmly. "I'm not hanging anything from the ceiling, and I'm not stacking things that shouldn't be stacked. It's fine. Emmett's not going to care, and I doubt anyone else will."

"Okay," she sighed. She gave Jasper big, sad eyes, but he shook his head.

"Nope, not going to do it. It's Edward's call. Come on, I'll buy you a burger."

She lit up at that, and he laughed and grabbed her hand. "You guys coming?" he called, leading Alice into the hallway.

Edward smiled over at me, and extended his arm in an "after you" gesture.

"See? Told you it wouldn't take long," he said. "You're still going to come out, right?"

"Alice wouldn't let me get out of it," I laughed.

He shook his head and laughed with me. "I told you she wouldn't. That girl doesn't know the meaning of the word 'no.'"

We had arrived at my truck when I realized I had no idea where we were going. I started it up and turned to look at Edward.

"Do you know where we're going?"

"Jasper said Molly's."

"I haven't been there in forever," I said excitedly. "My roommate freshman year used to drag me there all the time, and I got so sick of it. She hated the cafeteria food, and she was completely incapable of eating alone."

"You don't mind?"

"Mind what?"

"Eating alone. Isn't that, I don't know, a little uncomfortable? Eating all by yourself in a restaurant?"

I shrugged. "It's not so bad. I think it's something everyone should do once in a while. I like having a little time to sit and think, and if I can eat at the same time, why not? I go to movies alone sometimes, too."

When he didn't respond, I felt my cheeks start to burn. God, I probably sounded like a complete loser. _I go to movies alone_. Alice was right, I was a hermit.

"Not often or anything. I mean, it's not like I don't have any friends." My face was the temperature of molten lava. It was like my brain and my mouth weren't connected when I was around him. I shook my head and concentrated on the road, determined not to say anything stupid for the rest of the drive.

Edward had other ideas.

"I think it's kind of cool, going out by yourself. I could never do it. You're braver than I am."

I snorted. "Braver, or just more pathetic? No, never mind, don't answer that."

"I'm serious," he protested, turning in his seat so that he faced me. "I bet not many people would feel comfortable going out alone. It shows a lot of confidence. I would be worried that everyone was feeling sorry for me if I was sitting by myself in a restaurant or a theater."

"Well, I wasn't worried about that until now," I said, sarcasm leaking into my tone. "Are you trying to make me feel better or worse, Edward?"

"I didn't mean it like that!" he protested, and suddenly it was his turn to awkwardly stumble over his words. I kind of liked it; it made him seem more human. I could relate to sticking my foot in my mouth. "I just meant that it shows you don't care what other people think. I mean, of course people aren't thinking that, I just... damn it, you know what I mean."

I peeked at him out of the corner of my eye, and what I saw made my socially awkward heart melt a little. Edward Masen, smooth talker and easy conversationalist, was blushing and struggling for words. He was embarrassed. I felt another bizarre wave of comfort, and then heard Jasper's voice in my head. _He puts his pants on one leg at a time. _For some reason, I heard it in the exaggerated Texan twang Jasper always used when he was goofing around, and it struck me as absolutely hilarious.

I snorted, and then a little giggle escaped. Before I could do much more than register the sound coming from my lips, I was laughing hysterically. Tears leaked out of my eyes, and I had to work to keep myself sitting up straight. After a few seconds, I heard Edward's deep laugh join mine, bubbling up and getting gradually louder and more helpless as we chuckled the awkwardness away.

We had mostly stopped by the time we got to Molly's, although I was still wiping tiny tears out of the corners of my eyes. My face wasn't red anymore, and we were both smiling and relaxed. Maybe tonight wouldn't be so bad after all.

Alice and Jasper had beaten us there and snagged a table. The place was less packed than it was during the semester, but there was still a pretty decent crowd. We ordered a pitcher of beer and Alice and Edward started telling stories about tour guide parties they had been to in the past.

"So Rosalie is puking her guts out, right?" Alice giggled, pantomiming wildly and, I might add, a bit unnecessarily. "And she's looking for something to wipe her mouth with. So I hand her a piece of Wonder bread."

Edward snorted into his cup and Jasper closed his eyes and shuddered, both of them clearly knowing what was coming next.

"She uses the bread and puts it in her pocket, I don't know, for safe keeping? Anyway, the next morning she's complaining about how gross the bread she ate last night was. She went back to her dorm room and _ate the barf bread_."

She was pink and nearly breathless with repressed laughter, and I couldn't help but laugh along with her.

"That was Rosalie? Ice bitch Rosalie?" I realized what I had said when Edward and Jasper whooped loudly and covered my face with my hand. "That's not what I meant," I moaned.

"No take backs!" Alice crowed. "It totally was. She was barely 19 at the time, and had not yet fully grown into her bitchitude."

"She hadn't met Emmett yet either," Jasper said. "I think he helped her embrace her inner bitch."

"Come on guys, Rosalie isn't that bad," Edward said seriously. Alice and Jasper stared in shock for a second, until he added, "for a fascist dictator."

"I'm telling!" Alice yelled, laughing again.

"Go ahead," he challenged. "Only don't come crying to me when she shoots the messenger."

The easy banter flying back and forth had me relaxed and comfortable for the first time in days. I didn't flinch when Edward rested his elbow on the back of my chair, and I let myself sink into his arm slightly. He didn't jump away or look at me like I was weird or invading his space. He just smiled and relaxed even further, laughing at something Jasper said.

"The next pitcher's on me," I said eventually, getting up and grabbing our empty. "I'll be right back." Edward watched me go. He'd been watching me all day, and I was starting to think that meant something. Between the beer, the muggy heat of the crowded bar, and the way he was looking at me, I felt almost giddy.

I pushed my way through the crowd toward the bar, marveling over the possibility that Alice wasn't dead wrong about the whole Edward thing after all. I passed the empty pitcher to the nearest bartender and handed over a ten.

"Bella!"

I turned around, searching for the voice that called my name.

"Yo, Bella, over here!"

Too late, I recognized it. Mike Newton. He was standing a little way down the bar with Eric Yorkie and Jacob, and all three of them looked a little worse for the wear. I waited until I had my pitcher and then made my way carefully over to where they stood.

"Whoa, Bella, partying it up," Mike said. He had a dopey grin on his face, and he was nodding his head up and down like one of those bobble-head dogs.

"I'm here with some friends," I said quickly, sensing a way out. "I just wanted to say hi. So...hi."

I turned, but Eric grabbed my arm and turned me around. Beer slopped over my hand, and Jacob threw an arm over my shoulder.

"What's your rush?" he said cheerily. He sounded a little drunk, and while his arm around my shoulder wasn't really threatening, it also wasn't the arm I wanted there. "You just got here."

"I've got this pitcher, though, and Alice and Edward are waiting."

Jacob's eyes narrowed a little and he glanced around. "That's who you're here with? Alice is okay, but come on, Edward? Boring."

"Thanks for your opinion," I said stiffly. "Have a good night, guys."

"Bella's gonna be an awesome tour guide," Eric said before I could go. His voice was loud and he was slurring his words. "She's so smart and pretty. And smart."

It would have been funny if I wasn't starting to get seriously annoyed. "Thanks, Eric. I'll see you guys later."

I tried to duck out from under Jacob's arm but I crashed into Mike's shoulder in the process, and the pitcher of beer went flying, covering my shirt and my jeans.

I yelled in surprise, but by that time there was nothing I could do. I was covered in beer. Of course, none of it had landed on Mike or Jacob, or even poor Eric, who was clearly too drunk to be doing much more than stand in a corner making random remarks about pretty girls. He didn't even flinch when I started to swear loudly.

"Hold on, Bells, I'll get you some napkins," Jacob said frantically, reaching over to the bar where a pile of thin, dirty napkins sat by a bowl of beer nuts. He started patting me down, focusing mainly on my chest. That's when I lost it.

"Son of a bitch!" I yelled, pushing him off of me. He was still trying to wipe off my chest, which is what Edward saw when he came pushing through the crowd, probably to check and see what was taking so long with the beer. He didn't say anything, just pulled me back from Jacob's fumbling hands and glared down at him.

"What the hell are you doing?" he growled. He pushed me behind him and crossed his arms angrily. He must have missed the fact that I was covered in beer. My t-shirt was drenched and clinging to my body, and my jeans were getting tighter by the second, the wet denim rubbing roughly against my legs. I didn't even want to think about what it was going to feel like walking outside like this.

"I was helping her," Jacob insisted, still waving his hands around. He hit Edward in the chest with a wet, shredded napkin for emphasis. "She's got beer all over her, dude."

Edward spun around and looked me over, his eyes widening a little as he realized just how soaked I was. "Shit," he muttered, turning back to Jacob. "Did you do that?"

"It was an accident! Bella's okay, aren't you, Bella?" Jacob craned his neck over Edward's shoulder, but Edward shifted his weight and blocked his view.

"Okay, it was an accident. You've done your part. I've got it from here." He gave the wilted napkins a disgusted glare and then turned back to face me. "Come on, Bella. Let's get you back to the table."

Alice, of course, didn't know whether to laugh about the situation or lament the fact that my one semi-cute shirt was now ruined. She dragged me to the bathroom to try to dry me off under the hand dryer.

"It was going so well, too," she sighed, palming the dryer button and stretching out my shirt. "Oh, this isn't going to work. Just take it off."

"What?" I crossed my arms instinctively over my chest.

"Come on, it's just us, the door is locked. Take of the shirt, it'll dry faster."

I eyed her suspiciously, but tugged it off and tossed it to her.

"Great." She reached into her bag and pulled out a wad of stretchy blue material. "Now put this on."

I caught it and shook out a three-quarter sleeve shirt with a detailed stitching around a wide, low neckline. "You just happened to have this in your bag?" I asked.

"I'm always prepared, you know that. Never go anywhere without a spare."

"But you don't have boobs, and I do." She huffed a little, and I rolled my eyes. "It's true, don't argue with me. This isn't going to fit me."

"It's always been a little big on me," she said breezily. Too breezily.

"Did you pack this for... me? Oh my God, you really think I'm that much of a disaster, don't you?"

She turned away from the hand dryer and put her hands on her hips, lips pouted out in an oddly angry way. "Will you chill out, already? My God, you're ridiculous today. Just put the shirt on. Your giant boobs are giving me a complex."

I pulled it over my head, and sure enough, it fit perfectly. I anchored myself to the wall, attempting to get my whole lap under the blowers. After a couple of cycles I was reasonably dry, but it still felt kind of like I peed my pants.

"I don't suppose you've got a pair of pants in that bag?" I asked hopefully, hitting the dryer button one more time.

"Sure, now you want me to be prepared. Sorry, I'm only ready to cope with one fashion emergency per night. You'll have to sit in your wet pants."

When we got back to our table, Jasper and Edward were talking quietly, heads close together. Jasper looked up as we approached, and Edward turned around.

"Where'd that shirt come from?" he asked, wrinkling his eyebrows.

"Alice," I said simply. Jasper snorted, but quickly took a drink before she could give him too much of a stink-eye.

"I should probably go home," I said, ignoring the look Alice was now leveling at me. "Work bright and early tomorrow and everything. I want to read my notes and make sure I'm ready to go for our last day. Edward, do you need a ride home?"

I bit the inside of my cheek. I hadn't meant to ask. It just slipped out. There was plenty of room in Jasper's car. Of course, the universe was not going to be that kind to me. Edward drained the rest of his glass and stood up.

"Yeah, I think I'm ready to go. See you tomorrow night, Jas. Alice, you coming in tomorrow?"

"You know it," she laughed. "I have to make sure the evil dictator stays reined in and under control."

"And who's going to make sure you stay under control?"

"Silly, that's your job."

"Oh, of course. I should have known."

We said goodbye and walked back out to my car, Edward trailing slightly behind me. I shuddered as the cold air hit my legs.

"Are you okay? Do you need my jacket or something?" Edward looked down at me and smiled sweetly, while still managing to look concerned.

"Are you for real?" I demanded.

He looked startled. "What?"

"Are you a real person? Or are you some kind of robot?" Once again, my thoughts were completely bypassing my brain, opting to go straight for my mouth. The slightly drunk part of me that was tired and covered in beer was okay with it.

"I don't understand," he said slowly. That 'is that an extra head growing out of your shoulder blade?' look was back in full force. I unlocked my truck and started the engine, still shivering. Before I could explain any further, he took off his jacket and tucked it around my legs.

"That!" I said, pointing at my lap. "What is that about?"

"I'm just... being a nice guy?"

"Is that a question?"

"No?" I raised my eyebrows. "Shut up!" he protested. "No, I am not a robot; yes, I am a nice guy. Why is that so weird?"

I looked over at him, expecting to see a smile, but his face had settled into a look of disappointed confusion.

"Do you think I'm some kind of a jerk?" Crap, now he sounded hurt. How did I manage to do that? First I ticked off Alice, then Edward. The only person who hadn't given me that wounded puppy dog look tonight was Jasper. I considered driving back to the bar just to finish off the night right.

"I don't think you're a jerk! I'm sorry, I'm a total spaz," I mumbled, turning down his street. At least it was a short drive.

"You're not a spaz," he protested. I untucked his jacket and handed it back to him.

"Um, that's really sweet of you, Edward, but yes, I most definitely am. Alice says the first step to recovery is admitting I have a problem."

He smiled hesitantly, and I shook my head at him. "It's okay, you can laugh. Jasper does." A muffled sort of laugh escaped his lips, then a louder chuckle. I sighed dramatically.

"Hey," he said softly. I looked up, and suddenly he was in my space, breathing my air. I stopped breathing. More air for him, I guess. "You did good today. Don't study too hard tonight, okay?"

"Okay," I whispered, wondering briefly when my voice had gotten so high and girlish. He pulled away and jumped out of my truck. I didn't move until the door slammed shut, and then I just watched him jog to the front door of his building.

As I drove home, I thought about the events of the day. After only a couple of drinks, I had gone from socially awkward to straight-up unfiltered word vomit. I had a bad feeling about this party.

* * *

**A/N: I know. You guys have been really patient. We're almost to the party. Hang in there.**

**I've never dated a co-worker, but I've had plenty of work crushes. According to your answers, there are quite a few happily married former and current co-workers out there :) ****Funny thing, two people I worked with as a campus tour guide just got engaged. Timely!**

**Do you go to the movies alone?  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I own a tour guide name tag from my alma mater.**

**WriteOnTime and Daisy3853 are scrumdiddlyumtious. And kick-ass betas.**

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**EPOV**

An odd mix of adrenaline and panic rushed through me after I left Bella sitting in her truck. The night had gone well, I thought, until she ended up sopping wet and ticked off. We had been getting along; the awkward tension had finally started to evaporate between us. In those last moments in the car, it was back in full force.

She made that joke about being a "spaz," and although she was laughing, she still seemed a little sad. I wanted to cheer her up, but I was still reeling a little from the robot vs. nice guy exchange, so I just said the first thing that came to mind.

"Don't study too hard." Dr. Phil, I am not.

Who could blame me, though? She had been driving me to distraction all day, for reasons I didn't really understand, and we were inches apart in her cramped truck cab. I almost got carried away, but the strong smell of beer coming off of her pants allowed me to keep a clear head. She had had a long day, and our relationship had barely crossed from acquaintance to friendship. The last thing she needed was a co-worker slobbering all over her because of a "moment."

I didn't sleep well that night, and since the semester hadn't started yet, I couldn't even try to distract myself with homework. Bio-chem was good for one thing: it always put me to sleep. The next morning, I drank a pot of coffee and stopped off at the union for another cup before heading in to work.

"You look like shit," Rosalie said when I wandered into the office.

"Thank you, Chairman Mao, I try to always look my best for you," I sniped back, scrubbing my face with my hands. I hadn't bothered to shave, figuring I could do it before the party, and I knew my hair was a mess.

"Late night?"

"Couldn't sleep."

"Well, suck it up, sunshine. I need you to do some actual work today."

"Ah, Rose, you're always so supportive," Alice said from the doorway. She patted me on the shoulder and pushed past me, leaning back on Leah's desk. "Edward, give me some of your coffee."

"Get your own." I hugged it close to my chest and took a furtive sip.

"Ugh. You're so mean."

"No," I corrected. "You're just a mooch." She jumped up and tried to grab my cup from me, but I held it up over my head. Planting one hand on my shoulder, she pushed up and tried to grab it, and I narrowly avoided spilling it all over Jacob when he walked in.

"Jesus, get a room you two." His face was haggard, his eyes bloodshot.

"Oh, yeah, Jasper would love that," Alice said, rolling her eyes.

"You stink," Rose said to Jacob. He lifted his arms but she was already shaking his head. "No, you reek of booze and cigarettes. What, did you sleep in a bar last night?"

"Could you keep it down?" He winced and sank into Leah's chair. "I went out with a couple of the new guys last night, okay? What, is that off-limits now, too?"

"That depends. Did you screw any of them at the end of the night?"

I snorted, and Jacob glared at me. "No, I did not."

"Although he did manage to cover Bella in beer," Alice put in.

He groaned. "Shit, I was hoping that was a dream or something."

"Nope," I said, feeling the beginnings of a smile tug on my lips. "Her pants were soaked." I felt a little bad for smiling at Bella's misfortune, but the look on Jacob's face made me unreasonably cheerful. He was definitely not going to be one of her favorite people after that.

"She had to squat under a hand dryer for a good ten minutes, and she still smelled like a brewery when she was dry," Alice added.

"Are you sure it wasn't her fault?" Rose asked, glancing between Jacob and me. "I watched the beginning of your practice round the other day. She was falling all over the place. She's kind of a walking disaster area."

"She is not," I said defensively, then bit my tongue. Rose's eyes darted back to me, this time with suspicion. "I mean... well, she wasn't wearing boots," I finished lamely.

"Ooookay," Alice said loudly, making Jacob wince again. "The newbies will be here soon, so why don't we go get everything set up for Dartmouth Jeopardy? Jacob, go... spray yourself with this and splash some water on your face."

She tossed a small aerosol container at his head, and he caught it deftly. "Why do you have men's body spray in your purse?"

"I was a boy scout," she said, grabbing my hand and pulling me out the door.

"A boy scout?" I laughed and followed her down the hall to the room where we did admissions presentations for incoming freshmen in the summer. There was a big projection screen in there that we were going to use for training this morning. "Really, Alice?"

"Okay, so I was a Brownie. For three months. But the uniforms were awesome, so it was totally worth it. Stop changing the subject."

"I wasn't," I protested.

"You so were! We were talking about Bella."

I stared at her. "When were we talking about Bella?"

"You were getting mighty defensive with our fearless leader back there," she said, like it was completely obvious. "What happened when Bella took you home last night? Did you guys have an awkward make-out or something?"

"No! Nothing like that."

"Good, because you're both so much better than that. Drunk make-outs usually don't end well. Unless you're me and Jasper." She grinned and walked over to the computer to start turning on the projection equipment for the jeopardy game. "Which you are so clearly not."

"Thank God," I deadpanned. "I don't think I could wear a Brownie outfit as well as you."

"So, you're going to ask her out, yes?"

"Um..."

"Come on, seriously?" she sighed. "You obviously like her. She obviously likes you. What is the hold up?"

"Come on, seriously?" I echoed sarcastically. "We've talked about this before. I'm really busy, and I don't want to start something with anyone while I've got so much going on. It's not fair to the girl, and I'd feel guilty for not being around because I'm stuck at the library or in class all the time. I'm almost there. I just have to make it through med school, and then maybe I'll be able to focus on my personal life. I have a plan. It's working for me so far."

"_Through_ med school?" she gasped. "That's, like, another four and a half years!"

"Yeah, well, that's the plan. Just because it's not what you would do, doesn't mean it's wrong."

She snorted, and I glared at her. "Okay, since you're just ignoring all my other reasons—"

"Excuses," she muttered.

"We work together, Alice. You know how often that turns into a complete disaster. Look at Leah and Sam! Look at Jacob and... every guide he's ever dated. It's a bad idea. For many reasons."

Her glare softened a little bit, and she sighed heavily. "I just worry about you, that's all. Jasper and I never get to see you anymore, and it seems like you're always doing homework or studying. Life doesn't always follow your plan, Edward, and I don't want you to pass up an opportunity to be happy when—"

"I am happy," I interrupted. "I promise."

She looked like she had more to say, but lucky for me, Jacob walked in then, followed by a group of new guides. I was able to stay surrounded by people for the rest of the day, making sure that even if Alice was nearby, so were at least two other people.

After my conversation with Alice, working with Bella suddenly felt weird. Sure, I had been oddly aware of her before, but now it felt like every time we interacted there was some kind of bizarre subtext going on behind our actual words. I found myself analyzing the way she raised her eyebrows, the tilt of her head, how she shrugged or nodded when I instructed her on something.

Was Alice right? Did she like me? Was she expecting me to ask her out? Did I care? It wasn't like her expectations were going to have an effect on anything. I told myself that I was only worried because I didn't want to lead her on. She seemed like a sweet girl. I wanted to be friends. So she was cute. So I was attracted to her. So what? It just wasn't the right time. We'd both end up hurt if I tried to pursue something there.

I was mulling over all this as I packed up my bag at the end of the day. We had just finished a short "graduation" ceremony for the new hires, and everyone was headed out to get ready for the party. I was so distracted, I didn't notice that someone else had walked into the office after me. I nearly jumped out of my skin when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Jesus Christ," I yelped, turning around quickly.

Bella stood behind me, wide-eyed, her hand clutched to her chest like she had been burned. "I'm sorry," she stuttered. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"You didn't scare me," I snapped. Her eyes got a little bigger, and I sighed, giving myself a mental slap for taking such a harsh tone with her. "Okay, I was a little startled, but that's not the same thing."

I winked at her and smiled a little so she knew I was kidding. A familiar pink flush swept over her cheeks, and my smile grew. Both of us jumped a little when someone cleared their throat from the doorway. I looked up and saw Rosalie, one hand on her hip, looking between the two of us. Jacob stood just behind her.

"Congratulations on finishing your training, Bella," Rose said politely. "You picked up one of the new work schedules, right?"

"Oh," Bella squeaked. She flushed a little deeper. "I forgot to grab one on my way out the door. I'll make sure to do that before I leave, I promise. I just needed to talk to Edward about the party tonight."

Rosalie's eyebrows furrowed a little and she glanced over at me. "The party is at my boyfriend's apartment. I can give you directions if that's what you need."

"We, um," Bella looked back at me, and this time Rose _and_ Jacob shot me dirty looks. I recognized the look in Rosalie's eyes. It was the look she got whenever someone disobeyed orders or royally screwed up. It wasn't the first time she had looked at me like that, but it was the first time I hadn't actually done something wrong first. I sighed under my breath, knowing it was better to just be direct.

"Alice, Bella, and Alice's boyfriend are coming over to my place for a little pre-partying. The girls are getting ready together and I only live a couple of blocks from Emmett's place. Right, Bella?"

There was a pause, just a half a beat, really, before Bella nodded. "Right."

"Hey, Jacob?" Rosalie said sweetly, not breaking eye contact with me. "Why don't you take Bella back to the conference room and make sure she gets all of her paperwork. I need to speak with Edward for a minute."

"Sure thing, boss," Jacob said, nodding like a sycophant. He grabbed Bella's arm, and she smiled back at me nervously. I gave her a quick nod, and she followed him out. He started chatting as soon as he had her attention, and right before they walked out of earshot I heard her laugh. My stomach dropped a little, probably because I knew Rosalie was about to unload on me about something I didn't do.

"Edward," Rosalie sighed. She walked past me and sank into her chair, threading her long blonde hair through her fingers and closing her eyes. "What did we _just _talk about? Seriously, it's been three days, and you're now all over this new girl? What happened to not ever hitting on new girls? What happened to me being able to trust you?"

"I wasn't all over her!" I protested loudly. "We weren't doing anything."

Alice poked her head into the office then, raising her eyebrows at me. "Um, Edward, the entire building can hear you right now."

"I don't care," I muttered. "Then close the door."

She slipped inside and shut the door after her, pulling up Leah's chair and sitting on it cross-legged.

"I actually meant you should close the door and stay on the other side of it."

"And miss this?" she laughed. "Yeah, right." She turned to Rose. "Let me guess, you found him in here mooning after Bella."

"Yes—" Rose started, but I cut her off.

"I wasn't _mooning_," I shouted. "I was literally in here for two minutes, she came in, probably to ask me a question about pre-partying, and then Rose and Jacob showed up. Why is this suddenly the Spanish Inquisition? And why was your solution to finding me alone with her sending her off with Jacob? How does that make any sense?"

The two women stared at me, completely silent. Alice was grinning, and Rose looked more than a little dumbstruck.

"See? She's got him completely tied in knots," Alice said triumphantly.

"Argh!" I closed my eyes and tugged on the ends of my hair in frustration. "Are you listening to anything I'm saying?"

"Oh, we're listening," Rose said quietly. "Edward, how long have I known you?"

"I don't know, three years?"

"And in those three years, have you ever once raised your voice to me?"

I thought about it for a second. "No, I don't think so. I'm sorry, okay? I just wanted you to drop it."

"I know you did," she said, still in that soft voice. It was starting to freak me out. like she was building up to something really scary. "And I think that's because Alice has a point. You like that Bella girl."

"Oh my God," I muttered, "not you, too."

"It's okay to like someone, Edward," Alice teased.

"As long as you don't let it get out of hand," Rose qualified. Alice wrinkled her nose and crossed her arms. "This isn't a single's cruise, Alice. And I can't give Edward special leeway just because we're friends and he lives like a monk."

"Hey!"

"You know what I mean," she sighed. "You know I trust you. I just don't want you to do anything that you're not absolutely serious about. Your actions don't only affect you."

"It's like I'm not even in the room," I mused. "Do you guys need me here for this, or can I go?"

"He's so defensive," Alice said, ignoring me.

"Seriously, I'm leaving now."

I grabbed the doorknob and was halfway out the door before Rosalie called, "See you tonight."

I stormed out of the building as fast as I could, avoiding contact with any of the staff. I felt slightly guilty for not at least looking for Bella to see what she wanted earlier, but I couldn't help but think that seeking her out one-on-one again would be a mistake. As it was, I was regretting having her, Alice and Jasper over before the party. Pouring alcohol into this situation was an accident waiting to happen.

But what was done was done, and I knew that even if I told Alice I had come down with a rare, highly contagious disease, she wasn't going to let me weasel my way out of tonight. I was stuck.

I decided the best way to unwind would be a steamy shower, and since I was in desperate need of a shave anyway, I could kill two birds with one stone. Turning the heat up as high as I could without scalding myself, I leaned my shoulder against the shower tiles and let the water beat down on my face and chest. As I washed my hair, I tried to clear my head of all the things Alice and Rosalie had said, but that only made me think about Bella, that blush, her long brown hair, the quiet way she demanded the attention of the group, her smile when I handed her that stupid, fake diploma—

I groaned. Following that train of thought would be a mistake. I reached out and twirled the knob to cold for a few seconds before I shut off the shower. My teeth were chattering, and I was really uncomfortable, but at least I had managed to curtail any fantasizing. I shaved as quickly as I could and grabbed a towel, intending to dry off in my bedroom before getting dressed.

I heard a noise at the front of my apartment. For a second, I just stood there, listening. Then the door slammed, and I swore under my breath and wrapped the towel around my waist. Only one person had a copy of my key, and I should have known better than to think she wouldn't take advantage of the situation.

"Yoohooo," Alice called from my living room. "Edward! We're here. Hope you don't mind, I used my key."

I could hear Bella and Jasper talking quietly, and the thought that I would have to walk past my living room to get to my bedroom—wearing nothing but a towel—made me shiver a little. It was nothing Alice and Jasper hadn't seen before, but Bella...

"Haven't you ever heard of calling ahead?" I called through the bathroom door.

"I did call," Alice yelled back. "You didn't answer."

"Well, maybe that should have tipped you off! That key was for emergencies, Alice. You know, earthquake, end of the world, if I die in a fiery crash."

I heard Bella's voice then, quietly suggesting they leave and come back later. _Yes_, I prayed, _please just go. _

"He's being a baby," Alice protested. "Edward, get out here! We'll close our eyes, I promise. Your virtue is safe."

I groaned and grabbed another towel to wrap around my shoulders. As I inched out of the bathroom door, I steeled myself to sprint to my bedroom. It was only a couple of steps away. I could make it.

Of course, I took three steps into the living room and froze. Alice and Jasper were standing at my kitchen counter, pouring shots, and Bella was standing at my bookcase. She was a creative writing major, so it made a certain amount of sense that the two times she had been in my apartment, she'd drifted straight to my books. She was trailing her fingers over the spines now, her back to me, shoulders slightly hunched. I wondered what book she was looking at, and what she thought about my reading habits. Probably that I was boring—the shelf she was staring at was full of old textbooks.

Jasper cleared his throat softly, and I looked up.

"You might want to put on some pants," Jasper said with a laugh, raising an eyebrow at the towel I had clutched across my chest. "The party isn't beach-themed."

"Ha ha," I muttered, taking the extra step to my bedroom door and slamming it behind me like a petulant teenager. My room was its usual disaster area. I managed to keep the rest of my apartment tidy and clean, but my bedroom was always a mess. When Bella came over to help me move my speakers, I panicked at the thought of letting her into my mess. Luckily, she didn't push the issue. Then, like now, she seemed more interested in poking around the rest of my apartment than seeing where I slept. Perversely, I wondered what her bedroom looked like. It was probably spotless.

I sighed and grabbed a clean shirt, pulling on some boxers and a pair of jeans. I toweled my hair off the best I could, giving up on even trying to tame it for the night. So much for looking put together. At least I got to shave.

When I walked back out into my apartment, Alice had lined up an impressive number of shot glasses filled with amber liquid on my counter, each paired with a slice of lemon.

"Are all those shot glasses mine?" I asked incredulously. There had to be at least ten.

"Of course not," she said, rolling her eyes at me. "Only those two are. I brought a bunch, and grabbed the rest from Jasper's place. Oh, and this one is Bella's." She pointed to the glass at the end, which had a purple stripe and some lettering on it. I leaned in to read it.

_Work is the curse of the drinking class. —Oscar Wilde—_

I snorted and looked over at Bella, who had abandoned her perusal of my bookshelf and wandered over to join us. "Nice." She smiled hesitantly and gave a little shrug.

"My mom got it for me when I started college. It's part of a set, but I lost the other two when I moved last year."

"Your mom got you a set of shot glasses? When you were eighteen?" I laughed and grabbed a shot from the line, picking up the corresponding lemon and praying that whatever happened tonight, I made it out unscathed. Or at least mostly unembarrassed.

"If you ever met my mom, you'd understand. Trust me." She smirked a little and picked up her Oscar Wilde shot glass, mimicking my stance with her lemon.

"Okay, everyone ready?" Alice asked. She smiled brightly at the three of us and lifted a glass. Jasper quickly followed suit. "To new friends, new jobs, and new beginnings." She raised her eyebrows and gave Bella a significant look. Jasper coughed.

The tequila burned all the way down to my belly, leaving a familiar, pleasant tingle in my throat and on my tongue.

"Ooooh," Bella squealed. She scrunched up her nose and bit into her lemon with vigor, closing her eyes tightly. "Alice, why is it always tequila with you?"

"Because, Bella," she said in a long-suffering tone, "tequila makes your clothes fall off."

Jasper raised another glass and laughed. "Here's hoping."

I closed my eyes and swallowed another shot, not daring to allow myself to think about the possibilities.

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**A/N: So, I'm sorry that so many of you thought the party was in this chapter. In my defense, I did say that we were *almost* there. And now the next chapter IS the party. Sorry, there was some necessary Edward development going on here. On another story related note, I'm sorry it's been a little bit since I updated, and I'm sorry I haven't been replying to reviews. RL took a busy turn-I started a new job and things have been a bit crazy. Thanks for being such wonderful readers, and for all your lovely reviews. I'm blown away.  
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**A lot of you went to see Twilight and New Moon alone... I wouldn't have been able to sit through those movies without a friend there to make snarky comments too :) I'm not big on going out to movies or eating alone, so congrats, you guys are braver than me. **

**What's your drink of choice when you're out to make bad decisions? (note: does not have to be alcoholic...I've seen lots of bad decisions made under the influence of Mountain Dew!)  
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	6. Chapter 6

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I own a tour guide name tag from my alma mater.**

**WriteOnTime and Daisy3853 are the best betas a girl could ask for. If I could, I'd buy them each a million pairs of pink flip flops.**

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**BPOV**

By the time we left Edward's apartment, my head was spinning slightly and my skin felt numb and prickly at the same time. As the four of us tromped through the snow toward Emmett's apartment, I patted my face experimentally.

"Alice, I can't feel my cheeks."

"Don't worry," she laughed, "they're still on your face." Edward shoved her a little and she went sliding across a patch of ice into Jasper. "Hey! No fair, ya big, tall, bully. Don't make me use my secret kung fu on you."

"Well, maybe you shouldn't pick on the newbie if you don't want to get pushed around a little," he said. He threw a casual arm over my shoulders. "I told Bella I'd keep an eye on her. Be nice, Alice."

If I hadn't watched Edward throw down five shots of tequila in the last thirty minutes, I would probably have mistaken his friendly concern for flirting.

"Yeah," I echoed, sticking my tongue out at her and leaning into Edward's side. "Be nice, Alice."

A couple of seconds later, I looked up at Edward from under his arm. "Edward?"

"Hm?" He glanced at me, and I noticed the way the cold and the alcohol had tinted his cheeks and nose a bright pink.

"You look like Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer," I giggled, snorting a little in the process. He huffed and dropped his arm, stomping ahead of me. "Hey, come back! Where are you going?"

He sighed and stopped, allowing me to catch up with him as Alice and Jasper got farther ahead. They reached the door to Emmett's building and waited for us.

"What?" he asked, crossing his arms. "You got some Santa jokes to throw my way?"

"Nope," I said, grabbing his hand and pulling him toward the door. "I just need an anchor." I slipped on the sidewalk as soon as we started moving again, illustrating my point.

Warm air rushed out of the building as we moved into the lobby, and he laughed and towed me inside.

"You know, Rosalie called you a disaster area today, and I defended you. I'm starting to think that was a mistake."

"Oh, definitely. I am definitely a disaster area." I followed Alice and Jasper to the elevator, marveling at how the tequila had lubricated my tongue. It was way more effective than beer. I didn't feel awkward or uncomfortable talking to Edward at all, and it seemed the feeling was mutual.

He had been acting weird all day. I got the impression that he was going out of his way to steer clear of Alice, which didn't make any sense, and I had to repeat myself a number of times when I asked him questions during training. It was like his brain was somewhere else, even though he seemed to be looking at me and listening. The awkward scene in the tour guide office with Rosalie, coupled with the fact that he practically bolted from the building afterwards, gave me the uncomfortable suspicion that he was avoiding me, too. I only hoped that Alice had kept her mouth shut about my crush on him last semester. If she had been pushing him about asking me out... mortification wouldn't even cover it.

Even Jacob noticed something was up.

"So, you and Eddie-boy getting hot and heavy in the office, huh?"

It was so ridiculously off-base that I had laughed, loudly. "You and Alice must be smoking the same crack," I said eventually, once my giggles had worn off. "No, nothing's going on with me and Edward. That's just—no." I had stopped myself before I could go on at length about how out of my league Edward was. I was pretty sure Jacob didn't want to hear about that.

"Oh," he said simply. "Hey, um, I'm really sorry about last night, the bar, the beer." He cringed. "That's... it was very out of character for me. I'm not that guy."

"Don't worry about it," I had said easily. I had been upset in the moment, but realistically, things like that happened to me all the time. It wasn't worth it to hold a grudge. "I'm incredibly clumsy. It was a small miracle I had gotten to that point in the evening without spilling anything."

He had smiled widely and changed the subject. The conversation was easy. I had been able to reassure myself that I was, in fact, capable of a normal conversation with a boy. I had even made him laugh a few times.

The elevators dinged open and I was jolted back to the present, where my hand was firmly encased in Edward's, and my blood was buzzing from booze and heat. I almost tripped over the edge of the elevator, but I saved myself before I had to lean too hard into Edward. I made a mental note to ditch my heels in a corner as soon as I could ascertain that the floors were reasonably clean.

Jasper opened the door without knocking, and we were met with another wall of heat and sound. The lights were out, and a throng of bodies moved in time with the pulsing beat of the music. As soon as I stepped into the apartment, I was pulled away from Edward by a girl with wide brown eyes and a huge, inebriated smile. She slapped a piece of duct tape on my shirt before I could process what she was doing and un-capped a Sharpie.

"Name?"

"Uh, what?"

"What's your name, newbie?" she asked. She tugged at her own shirt, revealing a similar chunk of tape labeled "Emily" in bright red letters.

"Oh. Bella."

"Awesome. Hold still, Bella." She steadied me by grabbing me awkwardly under the arm, and scribbled my name on the piece of tape that was now covering a good portion of my left breast. "Perfect. There's alcohol and mixers in the kitchen, which is right through there." She pointed. "I think Sam is still manning the bar. Go get a cup and get to it!" She turned to Edward and slapped another piece of tape across his shirt.

"Hey, stranger!" She filled in his name. "Glad to see you out of your hermit hole in the library."

He smiled and glanced around. "Looks like most of the new hires are already here, Bella. Better get you another drink, and then I'll introduce you around."

I looked for Alice and Jasper, but they had already disappeared into the crowd. I did spot Rosalie leaning against a window across the room, though, and I could see Angela, Lauren, and a couple of the other girls dancing in the middle of a group of guys.

I let Edward lead me through the crowd, staying close to his back. Despite the fact that the apartment smelled strongly of sweat and alcohol, I could distinctly pick up the smell of Edward's soap through his t-shirt. It was almost minty; it reminded me of green, growing things and rain. By the time we made it to the kitchen, my nose was practically pressed into the space between his shoulder blades.

Leah was standing in the kitchen, hands on her hips, staring down a very tall, very tan boy. They both looked completely ticked off. She scared me far more than Rosalie did, but at least this time her anger wasn't directed at me. The day she had drilled into me during training, I had nearly cried.

"What-the-fuck-ever, Sam," she growled. "There is no excuse for cheating. None! I can't believe the two of you had the nerve to show up tonight."

Edward put his arm out and stopped me from entering the room, although the chances of me walking into the storm that was brewing without protection were pretty slim.

"It's a party for everyone, Leah. Don't be such a bitch. You could have stayed home, too, you know."

"I'm a coordinator! I have to be here!" She threw her hands up in the air. "Unlike you and the skank."

I could feel my eyes getting rounder as I stared between them, my head bouncing back and forth like I was watching a tennis match. Just then, the girl who had labeled me, Emily, walked past Edward and into the kitchen. I almost stopped her, but the look that Leah leveled at her froze me in my place.

"Sam, do you know where that extra roll of duct tape went? We're out."

"He doesn't have the tape," Leah said icily. Emily slowly turned to look at her, coolly giving her a once-over.

"I don't think I asked you," she said. There was a split second pause before Leah launched herself at Emily, hands out, fingers extended like claws. The two girls went tumbling in a shrieking cyclone of hair-pulling and scratching.

Sam tried to get between them, but ended up going down quickly after an unidentified elbow hit him in the groin. Before I could debate stepping in myself, a huge boy shouldered past Edward and I, reached down into the brawl going on in the middle of the kitchen, and pulled the two girls apart.

"That's enough, ladies," he said cheerfully. He was grinning, and his curly hair stuck up at odd angles. "I love a good cat fight as much as the next man, but this is a party, and I can't have you blocking the bar. So you can either take it outside or leave each other the hell alone. Got it?"

Leah growled something incoherent, but Emily gave a sharp nod. I noticed that Leah only looked a little ruffled, while Emily had a red scratch across her face, her hair mussed and hanging loosely out of its pony tail holder. Sam stood slowly, still wheezing slightly, and led her back into the living area.

"Hey, Leah?" Edward asked, and I jumped. It made me very nervous to be on her radar after seeing her take apart that other girl. "How much have you had to drink?"

She narrowed her eyes. "Why?"

"Just, you know, you might want to slow down."

"Fuck off, Masen. I've had three vodka and diet cokes. I'm fine."

She stormed out of the kitchen, following Sam and Emily, and Edward swore a little under his breath.

"Did you win?" the big guy asked, leaning against the cabinets with a huge smile. He had a dimple on his left cheek that made his size considerably less threatening. With the kitchen clear from brawling tour guides, I finally felt safe to enter, so I walked up to where bottles lined the counters and started looking for a cup.

"No," Edward answered. "I should have known better than to take a bet against Alice, I guess. She always wins. Every goddamned time."

"What do you want, Edward? I'm having more tequila." I had spotted some shot glasses and a bottle of Jose, and had decided that the best way to keep my warm, confident buzz going would be to follow Alice's advice and stick to one drink the whole night.

"Set me up another shot," he said easily. "Emmett, have you met Bella?"

I slopped a little on the counter as I poured two shots, then turned back to the big guy. "You're Emmett?"

"Guilty," he said, still grinning. "And you are Bella. That's... interesting." He looked at Edward, who snorted and shook his head.

"Depends who you ask, I guess?" I said uncertainly, not really sure what we were talking about anymore. The fight had disoriented me, although apparently Edward and Alice had taken bets of some kind about it. And now Emmett seemed to know something about me, even though I'd barely heard of him. I looked down at the shots on the counter and decided that pouring a third couldn't hurt.

"Come on, Eddie-boy," I said, pushing his shot out where he could see it clearly. "Do a shot with me."

"Eddie-boy?" he said archly. "I really can't tell you enough how much I hate that nickname." He grabbed the shot glass and toasted me before tossing it back. I watched him for a minute, letting myself enjoy the way his throat bobbed as he swallowed. Then I took my two shots in quick succession, not even pausing to process the way my throat burned and my stomach clenched.

"I guess I'll need to find a different nickname then," I replied, finally looking him full in the face. It was the first time I had done so since we walked into the party, and the effect was enough to make me a little woozy. His lips and his cheeks were red, and his eyes were bright, pupils dilated. He was right there, breathing heavily and staring down at me, and so close I could feel his tequila-tinted breath on my face.

"I don't like nicknames," he said, not moving away. "So that's going to be tough."

Emmett laughed, pulling my attention from Edward and our warm, tense little bubble.

"Oh, this is going to be fun," he said. The smile on his face struck me as suddenly foreboding. "I'll catch you kids later. I have a hot blonde wandering somewhere out there, and she'll kill me if I don't bring her another glass of this fine wine." He thumped his fist on a box of wine that sat on the counter behind him and left the kitchen, glass in hand.

Edward shook his head and sighed. "You ready?" he asked, giving me a crooked and completely heartbreaking smile.

Once we had been absorbed into the herd of people in the living room, I started to lose track of time. One second, I'd be talking to someone I had just been introduced to, the next moment I was dancing with Jessica on top of a sturdy coffee table. Then I was laughing in a group as people snapped pictures. One boy kissed another on the mouth, and the people around me cheered and clapped. Someone hugged me and told me they loved me _so much_, and then Alice was placing sloppy kisses on my cheek. My shoes disappeared, and they were replaced by a random girl's pink flip-flops.

As a rule, I wasn't a heavy drinker, and I didn't party much. Over the course of the last couple of hours, however, I had lost track of how many shots of tequila I had had, in addition to one ill-advised jager bomb that made me consider throwing up for a few dicey seconds.

Rosalie cornered me at one point, a glass of boxed wine in both hands. She handed me one, which I didn't drink, and started talking about the burden of responsibility.

"No one really gets it until they have to do it," she slurred, gesturing with her red cup. "But being in charge is hard. You have to tell your friends what to do. I like my friends, Bella."

She raised her eyebrows for emphasis and I nodded to show I understood. "Edward is my friend," she continued. "I don't like bossing him around, especially when he's being all cute and shit."

"What?" Edward was cute alright, but I wasn't sure how that related to Rosalie having to boss him around.

"You know, with the smile, and the puppy dog eyes, and the hair." She waved her free hand around her head. She sighed heavily and finished off the rest of her cup, reclaiming the glass in my hand and taking another gulp for good measure. "Okay, it's like this. When you're the boss, you're like a shepherd. And all the little tour guides are your sheep."

"Baaaaaaa," I laughed.

"Yes, right," she said, straight-faced. "You... are a sheep. It's my job to keep my flock together, and if one of the sheep quits her job because another sheep can't keep it in his little wooly pants, that's a problem for me."

"Do sheep wear pants?"

"Hey, what are we talking about?" Emmett asked, dropping an arm on each of our shoulders.

"Sheep," I said, smiling up at him. "And whether they wear pants."

"_And why the sea is boiling hot—And whether pigs have wings_?"

"You aren't drunk enough," Rosalie whined. "You're quoting, that means you need more drinks."

"Okay, baby," he chuckled. "Let's go get more bad wine."

I watched them wander off into the dark, arms twined around each other. The party was slowing down, and I didn't see anyone who I recognized nearby, so I slid to the floor with a thump. My head lolled to one side.

"Whoa, there, Bee, you doing okay?" Jasper appeared in front of me suddenly, squatting so we were eye to eye.

"I'm fine," I said loudly, pushing up from the floor and standing suddenly. The blood rushed to my head and I swayed a little before righting myself.

"Hang on, kid," he laughed, standing with me and grabbing my upper arm. "How much did you have to drink tonight?"

"A lot?"

"Jasper!" Edward called, slapping Jasper on the back as he stumbled into the corner where we stood. "Where have you been? You're missing it, Emmett is chugging straight from one of Rose's boxes of wine. That shit is priceless, Alice is taking pictures."

"I'll look at the pictures later, man," Jasper laughed. "Bella is having some issues."

"I am not," I protested, shaking his hand off my arm. "I'm fine!" I touched my forefinger to my nose and did a little spin, only tripping a little over my newly acquired flip-flops. "See?"

Edward didn't stop smiling, but he did reach out to grab my arm, mimicking Jasper. "Are you going to be okay to make it across campus tonight? How did you get to my place earlier?"

"I drove," I said, then slapped my forehead in an exaggerated move. My arm felt heavy, like my hand was made of lead. I shook it out, watching it swing for a second, admiring how loosely my arms seemed to hang from my shoulders. "Edward, I can't drive!"

"No, you can't," he agreed, laughing. "I can't either."

I gave him a hard look, noticing his bloodshot eyes and rumpled clothes. His shirt was untucked and wrinkled, and his hair stood straight on end, like he had stuck his finger in a light socket.

"What am I gonna do?" I started hiccupping as soon the words were out of my mouth. I panicked, envisioning myself sleeping on the pile of coats in the corner near the front door.

"Hey, hey, hey," Edward soothed, grabbing both my hands. "You can stay with me. I have a pull-out."

"Can we go now?" I asked, looking up at him and hiccupping again. "I think I need to lie down."

"Do you really think that's a great idea, Edward?" Jasper asked, looking between us doubtfully. "She can just cab home with me and Alice later."

"Jasper, I want to go now," I whined. I winced at the sound of my voice, so high-pitched and needy, but I kept talking. "I need to lie down."

"What does your coat look like?" Jasper sighed. I told him, and he went to dig through the coats while Edward went to find my shoes. I concentrated on staying upright. I stared down at my feet and wiggled my toes, worrying a little when I had a hard time feeling the individual toes moving against my sandals.

"Edward, my toes," I said vaguely when he dropped my heels at my feet.

"Very nice toes," he said reassuringly, letting me prop my hand on his shoulder as I stepped back into my own shoes.

"Okay, Bee. Here's your coat. Edward, you can't go out without your coat. Put it on. It's really cold outside."

Jasper still looked anxious, although I wasn't sure why. Edward seemed perfectly warm to me. I could feel the heat of his skin through his shirt where my hand gripped his bicep.

"Hey, Jas, I think I see Alice getting on top of the bar in the kitchen," Edward said, a smile pulling up one side of his mouth. "She's holding a bottle of Jack."

Jasper groaned. "Edward, you have everything under control?"

Edward nodded.

"And neither of you is going to do anything dumb?"

We shook our heads in unison.

"Good enough," he sighed, turning and ducking through the crowd toward the kitchen.

"Let's hit the road, beautiful," Edward said, grabbing my hand.

I stared up at him, suddenly starry-eyed. "Huh?"

"I said, let's get going."

I followed him, but asked again, "No, what did you call me?"

"Bella. That's your name." He looked down at me, those red lips pushed into a quizzical pout.

"Oh, right." I shook my head a little, wondering if tequila could make you hear things.

Jasper wasn't kidding about the cold. There were little snow flurries blowing across the sidewalk, and I could see my breath steaming in front of my face. Edward still hadn't put his coat on, but kept it draped over one arm as we walked.

"Aren't you cold?" I asked, biting my lip to stop my teeth from chattering.

He smiled widely and shoved his hands in his pockets, walking a little faster. "Nah, it's just a little farther. By the time I get my arms in the sleeves we'll be at my door anyway."

His argument seemed reasonable to me at the time, although part of me did wonder why he hadn't put the coat on immediately after we left the party. As soon as we got inside his building, my teeth started to chatter in earnest.

Edward took his coat and wrapped it around me, rubbing my arms quickly as we hurried toward the elevator. He stayed mostly behind me, and I wasn't able to move quite as fast as he was. As a result, I stumbled quite a bit, giggling as he caught me every time I fell forward. Little puffs of breath hit my neck as we walked, and I could feel Edward's chest like a force field behind me, hovering but never quite making contact with my back or shoulders.

Only when we got to his apartment did he close the gap between his body and mine, leaning forward to unlock the front door. I shivered, and he looked down at me in concern. "Hey, you okay?" he mumbled into my ear, and my neck broke out in goosebumps.

"Come here," he said, a little louder this time, pulling me after him into the apartment and toward the couch. "I'll get you a blanket. Hold on."

I hugged Edward's coat closer and inhaled in what I thought was a stealthy way, but when he returned with a fuzzy fleece blanket, he was smirking.

"I hope my jacket doesn't stink," he said, tossing the fleece over me and pulling the ends in tight to my front. He started to rub my arms, but when his hands touched a spot of bare skin on my neck I yelped.

"Your hands are freezing! Aren't you cold?" I looked him over, half-expecting blue lips and tiny icicles to be hanging off the ends of his hair.

"I'm fine," he insisted, still rubbing rapid, tiny circles in my upper arms and back.

"No, you're not. Your skin is all white and red and blotchy. You might have frostbite! Here, share my blanket."

Without thinking, I reached out and grabbed his hands, pulling him under the blanket and his coat. I readjusted the ends, scooting forward so my knees bumped into his. His hands slid from my shoulders to my waist, and I could feel his fingers dig into my hips. I jumped a little at the feeling, and the movement propelled me forward. Edward adjusted automatically, and suddenly his lips were lightly pressing into the bridge of my nose.

He looked down at the same moment I looked up, and his lips brushed against the apple of my cheek.

"Uh, Bella," he whispered. His voice was strangely high. I shifted again, lifting up from my knees so my eyes were just below his.

"Yeah?" I whispered back. Unlike Edward, I sounded husky. My head was spinning, and I was having trouble concentrating. This had to be a dream. It had the same hazy quality most of my best dreams did.

"Do you... are you..." His breathing got faster and more labored.

And then I kissed him. I started out slowly, a little unsure of myself, even in dreamland. I pressed light kisses on his bottom lip, pulling it halfway into my mouth before releasing it with a barely audible pop. I began to pull away, but before I could get too far, one of Edward's hands came up from my waist and tangled into my hair.

There was nothing unsure about the way he pulled me back, or about the way his mouth attacked my own, with tongue, teeth, low, gasping groans. I half-climbed onto his lap, and his hands pushed further under my coat, shoving it off my shoulders. My knees slid down around his waist, while one of Edward's hands snaked up under my shirt. When his fingers traced up my bare spine, I gasped and dropped my head to one side, only to feel his lips attach to the crook of my neck.

He moved again, dropping his hands to my butt and scooping me up. I let my legs wrap around his waist as he staggered to his feet, tripping toward his bedroom. He didn't turn the lights on, just walked until the backs of his knees hit his bed, then dropped backwards, cushioning my fall with his body.

We rolled a little, and he collapsed on top of me, still dropping kisses wherever he could reach. I pulled his face back to mine, enjoying the hungry way our lips came together. This was a far cry from the stiff way we had interacted when we first met, and radically different even from the awkward, pseudo-friendly chatter and small touches from the night before. It was indescribable. I hadn't been kissed in at least a year, and I was fairly certain that, even in my dreams, I had never been kissed like _this_ before.

But Edward's bed was soft, and his pillows were full. Eventually, I started to yawn in between kisses, and he laughed lightly as he trailed softer, slower kisses on my cheek and down my neck. As I drifted off to sleep, I felt the comforting weight of his arm across my stomach and his head on my shoulder.

~||x||~

Someone had bashed in my forehead with a bottle of tequila. It was the only explanation that fit: my head was throbbing, my mouth was dry, and my tongue tasted like it had been coated in alcohol and then dipped in something fuzzy. On top of that, my whole body ached, and when I tried to move, my arms and legs seemed to be pinned.

Then I opened my eyes, and I nearly screamed. My arms and legs seemed pinned... because they were. Someone big, heavy, and very male was draped over me. I looked down in a panic, exhaling sharply when I saw that I was still fully dressed in my party clothes. I wracked my brain, trying to come up with any detail about how I got here or where _here_ was. At first, all I could come up with was a pair of pink flip flops and a cat fight in the kitchen of Emmett's apartment. None of that helped me identify the cluttered room I was currently lying in, or the faceless boy who lay beside me.

Then my bed buddy mumbled in his sleep and shifted slightly, and I saw his face. It was enough to make me want to scream again. Edward. I was in Edward's bed. I had come home with him last night, too drunk to drive. He offered me his pull-out and then...

I closed my eyes and whimpered. I had practically thrown myself at him. Attacked him, really, like I was a starving person and he was a big, juicy steak. I had never done anything like that before—I had never even kissed a boy before going out on a date with him, and now I was waking up in bed with one who I was barely friends with. I closed my eyes again, silently praying that when I opened them again, I would be at home in my own bed, or at least in Edward's living room on the pull-out couch.

I peeked out my left eye. No good; I was still underneath Edward's heavy arm. Last night happened, and it had happened in all its hot, heavy, scintillating, and wildly embarrassing glory.

There was a chance, of course, that Edward wouldn't remember any of this. We had both been ridiculously drunk, and when he woke up he would probably be in rougher shape than I was. I only hoped he had blacked out completely. I didn't think I could deal with the humiliation that would come with him telling me what I already knew—that last night had been a huge mistake.

Moving as slowly and carefully as I could, I inched my way out from under Edward's arms and legs, propping him up with pillows and falling to the floor as gracefully as possible. I hobbled to his bathroom, splashed some water on my face, and then grabbed my purse and coat and let myself out.

It took a few tries to start my truck, and as I sat shuddering in the cab, bits and pieces of my night started to come back to me. Oh, God, I danced on a table last night. I groaned aloud as I remembered the step-and-shimmy Jessica and I had done together. I closed my eyes when I distinctly recalled Mike, Eric, and Tyler catcalling from directly in front of us. There was a conversation with Rose, too. Something about sheep keeping it in their pants...

And then I groaned again. At the time, Rose's words about shepherds and sheep were hilarious, but now, in the full, glaring light of day, I realized what she was trying to say. Edward was the one with the little, wooly pants, and from the sounds of it, she had already warned him to stay away. And what did I do? I jumped him. Sure, he didn't say no, but he was drunk and probably horny. He was a twenty-something college guy, what was the likelihood he was going to turn down a drunk girl throwing herself at him? Now he would probably get in trouble with Rosalie, maybe even lose his job.

The guilt made my stomach churn worse than the hangover had. I didn't want Edward to suffer because I had a moment of impulsive stupidity. There was only one real solution I could think of. I would have to pretend it never happened. Not only would it mean not having to talk about any of this with Edward, ever, but it would have the added bonus of keeping him safe from any repercussions from my bad behavior.

When I got to my dorm, I took four ibuprofen, chugged an entire bottle of water, and passed out again on top of my comforter. I didn't wake up again until two in the afternoon.

* * *

**A/N: So... now you've seen the long-awaited party. What do you think? Worth the wait? And what will our heroes do next, I wonder? **

**I tend to make bad decisions when I'm drinking cranberry vodkas. **

**Have you ever seen a girl fight (or been in one! haha)?  
**


	7. Chapter 7

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I own a tour guide name tag from my alma mater**

**WriteOnTime and daisy3853 are unsung heroes. In order to remedy this, I am composing a ballad to sing about their great betaing skills.**

**Please see the end note for an announcement.  
**

**

* * *

EPOV  
**

There was a buzzing in my head.

At first, I thought I was imagining it. After all, with the way my skull seemed to be pulsing and pounding, it hardly seemed possible that the buzzing wasn't just in my head. Then my eyelids fluttered open, and I squinted against the harsh light that filtered in through my blinds.

I grunted, throwing my arm over my eyes. The sudden movement made my stomach revolt, and I struggled against the desire to vomit for a good ten seconds.

The buzzing continued, so I squinted out into my room, finally spotting my phone on my bedside table, vibrating across the surface and threatening to tumble into a pile of dirty laundry. I grabbed it before it could move too much farther and pulled it toward my face, still struggling against the too-bright sunlight.

Two words flashed across the screen as my phone continued to buzz insistently. **Alice calling... **

I sighed and dropped the phone to the floor before grabbing a pillow and pressing it to my face. I never drank that much... not ever. Not since my own newbie party two years ago, at any rate. It had been so long since I had had a hangover that in that moment, I wasn't entirely convinced I was going to make it. Surely, this was what dying felt like.

Then I remembered my basic biology. My body was dehydrated, and my blood sugar was probably a little low. Food and water. I could do that. There was food in my fridge. Eggs. My stomach grumbled its agreement.

Slowly, carefully, I hoisted myself up from my mattress. The room jostled a little bit, but my stomach seemed to have decided against puking for the moment. I looked back down at my bed, suddenly sure that there was something I was forgetting about, something I had to do, but my comforter didn't seem to be in the mood for sharing secrets. I leaned against the wall and stumbled to my door.

In my living room, the feeling that there was something I had forgotten got stronger. I glanced around—nothing seemed out of place. My counters were just as we'd left them last night, sticky with spilled tequila and littered with shot glasses. The smell of it wafted towards me and made my stomach turn, and I instinctively turned my head.

My eyes fell on the rumpled fleece blanket on my couch, and everything came flying back.

_My arm around Bella as we left the party. Wrapping her in my coat to stay warm. The way her lips felt against my skin..._

That's when my stomach finally lost the fight. I ran for the bathroom as fast as I could, barely making it to the toilet before I heaved an entire night's worth of alcohol into the basin. Afterwards, I couldn't move. I just sat there with my cheek pressed against the cold porcelain, remembering every sick, twisted detail of the night before.

Jasper had trusted me to take her home safely. She was incredibly trashed. Hell, when we left she could barely stay upright. And then I got her back to my apartment, and instead of letting her lie down and get some rest, or bringing her some painkillers and a glass of water, I jumped her.

I put my hands all over her. Up her shirt. Pressed against her like some kind of monster, taking advantage of the fact that she could barely keep her head up straight. I hadn't even stopped to think about it, just let my own blazing need in the moment carry me away. And now, when I should be feeling like the worst kind of animal, now I couldn't help but remember how soft her skin had been, and the way she had arched her back when we kissed, how her breasts pushed into my chest and her hair covered my face...

I dry-heaved again, and then grabbed a washcloth and doused it in cold water, mopping the sweat away from my face and cleaning up the best I could. When I looked in the mirror, I almost didn't recognize the haggard, worn-out guy staring back at me. My eyes were red, my hair was sweaty and greasy, sticking together in disgusting clumps, and I had huge bags under my eyes. I was a mess.

I wandered back to my living room with my toothbrush shoved in my mouth and collapsed on my couch. The blanket mocked me, half hanging off the cushion and practically glaring at me. I turned my back on it and scrubbed my teeth and tongue, trying to get the taste of puke out of my mouth.

It took me a couple of trips between my couch and my bathroom sink to feel slightly human again. I had to keep sitting down because if I stood for longer than a couple of minutes, my head started to spin and I got queasy all over again. I was gargling with some mouthwash when someone started pounding on my door.

"Heeeeey, youuuuuu guuuuuuuys!" Alice yelled through the door. Covering my ears and spitting out the last of my mouthwash, I stumbled back past my couch and toward the door. On my way, my foot caught that damn blanket, and I tripped, toppling into my door and barely catching myself on the doorknob. I wrenched it open and glared down at Alice, who looked impossibly chipper. Jasper was standing behind her, wincing a little and holding two cups of coffee. Wordlessly, he handed me one.

"Alice, I think I'm dying, so if you could keep it down, that'd be great."

"Goonies never say die," she said seriously, waltzing past me like she owned the place. "Where's Bella?"

Grimacing, I took a swig of my coffee and choked a little. It was scalding. "Not here. And seriously, why didn't you use your key? What, last night was okay, but you'd rather pound mercilessly on my door this morning?"

She whirled to face me, her eyes passing over every corner of the place as if verifying what I had just told her. "Don't be such a baby," she said dismissively. "Where did she go? She stayed here last night, didn't she?"

I closed my eyes. "Alice, could you be a little quieter? I wasn't kidding about the dying thing."

"Fine," she sighed, lowering her voice to an exasperated stage whisper. "Where is she?"

"I don't know," I shrugged. I started to lean on my countertop, then smelled the tequila and changed my mind, going to the cupboard for a glass of water instead. "I woke up and she was gone. Her truck isn't out front anymore, either."

I knew that because on one trip from my bathroom to my couch, I changed direction halfway into my living room and peeked out the window. A horrible thought had struck me as I loaded up my toothbrush with toothpaste for the third time. What if she had staggered out in the morning and fallen on the street? What if she had crashed her truck into the side of a building or something? I had to check. Of course, she wasn't there. Light snow had fallen in the night, and there was a big clear rectangle which the body of the truck had blocked from the snow. Instead of being reassured, I started worrying that she had gotten into an accident on her way home.

I gulped down my glass of water and tried to shove thoughts of Bella out of my head. My brain was working very hard to not imagine her reaction when she woke up in my bed. Did she even remember last night? Had she been horrified? Embarrassed? Confused? I didn't know her well enough to have the answers to my questions, and I certainly wasn't going to press Alice or Jasper for their opinions.

"She's probably back at her dorm," Alice said, breaking into my thoughts. "Jasper and I were going to get breakfast at the Hop and figured you guys would need some grease in your stomachs. We can swing over and see if she's up for it."

Jasper nodded and then looked at me expectantly. "You should probably change your clothes, Edward. The 'walk of shame' look only really works on Alice."

She smacked his chest and both of them laughed, completely missing the way my face fell at the 'walk of shame' reference. I turned and hobbled toward my room, getting changed as quickly as possible. Saying no would be suspicious and might invite questions, and there was no way I wanted to discuss what had happened last night with Alice or Jasper. Unfortunately, I also didn't want to be confronted with Bella just yet. As I changed my clothes, I tried to come up with excuses for not stopping off at Bella's dorm. I came up empty.

Alice was frowning at her phone when I got back into the living room.

"Bella didn't answer," she mumbled, and I breathed a silent sigh of relief. "Well, that sucks. I wanted to gossip about the party."

"She's probably sleeping," I said quickly. "Besides, she was pretty drunk last night. I don't know how much she's going to remember. You know how that goes."

Alice nodded and slipped her phone into her purse, but Jasper gave me an odd sideways look. I struggled to keep the guilt off my face, concentrating instead on finding my keys and wallet and tucking them carefully into my pockets.

"So the two of you got home okay, huh?" Jasper asked as we walked slowly toward the Hop. "Bella didn't fall and break an ankle on the way?"

"Nope, it was completely uneventful," I muttered. I wrapped my coat tighter around myself and shoved my hands in my pockets. "We passed out right after we got back and when I woke up this morning she was gone."

"And nothing happened?" he pressed.

I shot a nervous look toward Alice, who was happily texting a few steps behind us, and then shook my head abruptly. "No. Like I said, we went straight to bed."

The double meaning behind my words made me wince, and Jasper's eyes narrowed. I bit my tongue before I could say anything else incriminating. He was always far too perceptive for his own good, and I didn't want to risk anything. Before he could say anything, Alice skipped up between us and looped her arms in our bent elbows.

"I think I want pancakes," she mused, either missing or completely ignoring the sudden tension between Jasper and me. "Oooh, or maybe an omelet. Or a burger. French fries!"

"I don't care what I eat, as long as it's hot, greasy, and guaranteed to get rid of this raging headache," I said.

A blast of hot air rushed out when we walked into the Hop, and the inviting smell of fried food and sizzling bacon hit my nose as we approached the cafe. I made a beeline for the made-to-order egg buffet, grabbing a breakfast sandwich and a couple of milk cartons in addition to my heaping plate of scrambled eggs. Just looking at it was making me feel slightly more human. If I just focused on the food and forgot about what happened last night for a little while, maybe it would be easier for me to figure out what to do next.

Alice and Jasper were still waiting for their food when I collapsed into a chair at a little table near the wall. My fork was halfway to my mouth when I was interrupted by a shrill voice.

"Edward!" I looked up and froze. Lauren was standing in front of my table, tray in hand, grinning at me. She was still wearing the glittery little tank top she had on at the party last night, but instead of the mini-skirt she had originally paired it with, she was wrapped in a low-hanging pair of grey sweat pants. Her eye makeup looked caked on, and her blonde hair was gathered in a low, sloppy side ponytail. Inexplicably, instead of boots, she wore a pair of bright pink flip-flops. "Isn't this a nice surprise?"

Before I could do more than stare at her, open-mouthed, she dropped her tray down across from me and took a seat. "Oh my God, I had so much fun last night. I had no idea the tour guides were so crazy! I mean, you hear about the parties that the basketball players throw and you think, wow, that must be totally insane, but—"

I tuned her out, staring around the room desperately looking for my friends. I spotted Alice after a minute, weaving her way between crowds of students in pajamas and winter coats. I half-stood and waved frantically. "Alice! Over here!"

Lauren stopped talking and looked a little miffed that I was clearly so much more focused on another girl. "Edward, are you even listening to me?"

"Yeah, um, basketball players," I mumbled, watching as Alice gave Lauren an amused once-over.

"Oh, hi, Lauren," Alice said sweetly, setting her tray down. "Did you have a good time last night? I lost track of you after you and Jessica finished off that tray of Jell-O shots."

Lauren turned a little green. "I don't think I'm going to be able to eat Jell-O ever again. Or peaches. God, whoever thought pairing peach schnapps with red Jell-O was a good idea should be dragged out into the street and shot."

"I think Rose made those," Alice said. "Sounds like something she'd do."

Lauren shuddered delicately and took a swig of her orange juice. "Gross. At least she's better at scheduling than she is at mixing drinks." She grinned at me and winked. I raised an eyebrow, totally thrown by her transition.

"Um...what?"

"My first tour, silly!" she exclaimed. "You and I are going to be tour buddies on Thursday. You can show me all your secrets." Her lips pouted out flirtatiously, and she fluttered her crusty eyelashes at me.

"Sounds like fun, Edward!" Jasper said, appearing just in time to get the full effect of Lauren's flirty face. "You know," he said to Lauren, "Edward's always talking about how he wants to be a mentor, take someone under his wing and share the tricks of the trade he's picked up before he graduates."

I glared at him from behind Lauren's head, slicing my hand underneath my chin sharply to get him to cut it out. Alice looked like she couldn't decide whether to laugh or be horrified that Jasper was encouraging Lauren's behavior. She settled for snickering behind her bagel and cream cheese and shaking her head sternly.

For the rest of the meal, Lauren wouldn't shut up. She prattled on about the professors we had together and how much she already loved working with me. She gabbed about the stupid things people did at the party last night, the stupid things _she_ did at the party last night, and how she was sure we were going to be such a great team. Every time she slowed down, Jasper would butt in with some kind of encouraging remark. I couldn't figure out what his deal was. Normally, he was very perceptive about knowing when and how to help me out in situations like this. When she mentioned stopping in at the office to make sure that Rosalie kept scheduling us together for tours, I knew it was time to go.

"Okay! Well, I'm full. Alice? Jasper? Did you still want to come with me to... um... to the bookstore?"

Alice took pity on me and nodded swiftly, gathering her purse and her jacket in one fell swoop and tugging Jasper up with her. "Absolutely. See you later, Lauren!"

We were out of there too fast for her to attempt to follow us, and I speed-walked until we were at least two blocks away before slowing down and shoving Jasper hard.

"What the hell, man? I've always wanted to be a mentor? Throw me under the bus, why don't you?"

"I was only having some fun with you," Jasper said casually. There was something forced about the way he said it, almost like there was something simmering just below the surface. Alice was staring at both of us, eyes wide in confusion. "I've heard all about Lauren from Bella, and I guess I wanted to see if she was really as ridiculous as she sounded."

"Oh, honey, I could have told you that," Alice laughed, apparently fooled by his act. I had noticed the way his eyes tightened a little when he said Bella's name. His little show in the Hop had something to do with her. "Lauren's been all over poor Edward since day one, and I saw her making out with at least two other guides last night at the party. I can't believe you missed her; she was putting on quite a show. That girl is a hot mess."

We had arrived back at my apartment, so I let them in, trying to figure out the best way to get Jasper alone. I wasn't too upset about the Lauren thing, but I had a bad feeling that there was something brewing that had nothing to do with her sad attempts at seduction. My suspicions were confirmed when Alice ducked into my bathroom.

"Alright, cowboy," Jasper said softly, "now you can tell me exactly what happened with Bella last night."

I opened my mouth, but before I could get a word out he interrupted me. "And don't tell me nothing happened. Bullshit."

I sighed and scrubbed my hands over my jaw, closing my eyes for a second in an effort to calm myself down. It didn't help, and when I opened my eyes, Jasper was staring me down with a look of steely determination.

"Okay, a little more than nothing happened," I finally admitted. I grabbed my empty water glass from the morning and refilled it, buying myself some time.

"How much more?" he persisted in a low voice, glancing toward the bathroom. "I don't want to involve Alice in this, because you know she'd flip out, but you have to give me something here, man. I don't want to believe the worst, but right now you're not giving me much choice."

I glared at him. "The worst? What, like I'm some kind of roofie-slinging frat boy? Come on, Jasper. Give me some credit. I thought we were friends."

"Then don't stand there and lie to me," he whispered harshly. "Just tell the truth."

"Fine!" I hissed. "We made out, okay? We came back to my apartment and I was just trying to get her a blanket and then we were kissing, and touching, and I don't know... it got out of hand, I guess?" My stomach rolled and twisted again, and I leaned back against my fridge, one hand covering my eyes, the other rooted in my hair. "I don't know what to do."

"It got out of hand," Jasper repeated slowly. His eyebrows shot up. "You didn't..."

"What? No! I swear, I didn't even take off my socks," I said sharply. "We were really drunk; that's it. I'm kind of hoping she doesn't even remember it happened. Not one of my best moments."

He gave a humorless laugh and rolled his eyes. "You think?"

When I didn't answer, he sighed. "Look, Edward, I'm not going to pretend like I have all the answers. I'm pretty sure what happened last night wasn't entirely your fault. But you need to man up. Talk to Bella about it and make sure she's okay. She deserves that much."

"I totally agree," I said quickly. "It's just... God, I don't know. How do I even start that conversation?"

"Start what conversation?" Alice said as she walked into the kitchen.

"Uh...trying to figure out how to get Lauren off my case," I answered, thinking quickly. "You know, with us working together on tours and everything, I don't want it to be weird and uncomfortable. I'm trying to figure out what to say to get her to leave me alone. Or at least stop with the heavy petting."

She snorted. "Well, you can try to let her down gently, but I'm guessing even blunt, flat-out rejection isn't going to stop that crazy train. You may just have to grin and bear it."

"Right," I said glumly.

~||x||~

Classes started up for the semester on Monday, and I wasn't scheduled to work until Thursday, so I steered clear of McNutt in the meantime. I knew that Bella worked Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday, because I had memorized her schedule, creepy stalker that I was.

I had thought about what Jasper said all day on Sunday, but try as I might, I couldn't come up with the right words. I wanted to feel out the situation first... find out what she remembered, what she thought, if she hated me or thought I was scum. On the off-chance she didn't remember, I didn't want to embarrass myself by apologizing. If she didn't think I was a jerk already, I didn't want to invite trouble.

Of course, most of me didn't want to have the conversation at all, so I didn't feel bad about completely avoiding any place where I might run into her. I ate almost all of my meals at home or in various classrooms in the science buildings. Since she was a creative writing major, and since I had it on good authority that she had finished up all of her science general education credits, I knew I could hide myself there without too much effort. I didn't go to the library or wander near any of the more crowded campus hang-out spots. All in all, I thought I was being pretty clever.

But with all my cleverness, I couldn't avoid her 100 percent of the time. For one thing, I thought about her almost constantly. I had imaginary conversations with her, trying to strategize what exactly I would say when I saw her next. More than once I was startled out of my musings by a professor or classmate, completely unaware that I had been spacing out for the last five minutes. It was a good thing that I brought a voice recorder to all of my important classes, because my notes that week were absolutely abysmal.

Then there was the other reason I couldn't avoid her: her tours. Somehow, I managed to see her on campus with tour groups on both Monday and Tuesday. I didn't say anything or call attention to myself in any way, but it was hard not to stare when I saw her. For one thing, both times I saw her, she was partnered with Jacob, which made me scowl. I refused to delve too deeply into _why_ I was scowling—I just knew that I didn't like the natural way they seemed to work together, the easy give and take between them as they spoke, and the way her face lit up as she laughed and talked with him and the people in their group.

And that was the other thing that made me stare. I couldn't help but watch her when she spoke. Even at a distance, when I couldn't hear a word she was saying, her presence was magnetic. It wasn't that she was particularly bubbly, like Alice, or overly charismatic, like Jacob. She was just..._Bella_. Warm, inviting, quietly charming.

Seeing her like that was usually all it took to have me reliving _that _night. No matter how many times I told myself it was wrong, I couldn't help but remember the way the smooth skin of her calves felt under my hands, and the way her lips fit perfectly against mine. When my thoughts started going down that path, I knew I had to leave, usually holding a book in front of my crotch as I fled.

By Thursday, I was a wreck. I hadn't been sleeping well, owing mostly to my constant preoccupation and an ever-increasing pile of reading and lab work. To top it off, Jasper had caught me on my way to microbiology on Wednesday and grilled me about talking to Bella. When I admitted that I hadn't seen her yet, he accused me of avoiding her and threatened me with Alice again. I absolutely did not want Alice involved in this mess, and he knew it. I only got him to stop pestering me when I promised to speak to Bella on Thursday, no matter what. Gone was the zen-like Jasper I knew. He had obviously picked up new interrogation and guilt trip techniques from his girlfriend.

Because I had been so heavily focused on Bella, I had completely forgotten about my conversation with Lauren at the Hop. It all came rushing back the second I stepped into the tour guide office on Thursday afternoon. I barely got my backpack off before she was all over me, clutching my arm and giggling about something. I stared at her in disbelief; even Alice didn't just grab me like that. Shaking my arm gently, I dislodged her and took my coat off, throwing it over the back of Rosalie's desk chair. She wasn't the least bit dissuaded.

"I've been working really hard to get my facts straight, and I can't wait to see you in action," she purred, creeping closer to me again.

"Right, well, um..." I mumbled incoherently, not really sure how to respond. I finally settled on, "I'm sure you'll be great."

"You really think so, Edward? Your opinion means so much to me. I don't want to disappoint you."

"Oh, you shouldn't really be worrying about my opinion." I backed away from her again, trying to sneak toward the door. There were a couple of coats already hanging in various places around the room, which meant that the rest of the guides assigned to this tour were already here, and probably waiting in the back of the room where the admissions info session was wrapping up. I counted four backpacks on the floor, including mine, which meant that Bella was here too. My throat constricted and I gulped nervously. "We should really get going, we'll be late."

I slung my nametag around my neck and grabbed one of the spare Dartmouth-green coats that someone had forgotten to put away after their morning tour. It was a little too big, but we actually were running a little behind, and I didn't have time to run to the coat closet and root through it for the right size.

I motored to the admissions session, ignoring the shuffling sounds Lauren made as she struggled to catch up. When I turned the final corner, I stopped dead. Bella was scheduled to be buddied up with Rosalie. I knew that because I had been staring at that damn schedule for four days straight. But it definitely wasn't Rosalie who was standing next to Bella in the doorway.

"Jacob? What are you doing here?"

He turned slowly, a look of amused indifference on his smug face. "Working, Masen. What else would I be doing?"

Bella glanced at me, her hair swinging around her shoulders and covering her face like a curtain as she turned her attention back to the darkened room. She didn't even say hello. My heart plummeted.

"I thought Rosalie was scheduled for this slot," I persisted, snapping my gloves on and adjusting my hat. He shrugged.

"I don't know. I think a specialty tour came up. I was in the office at the time, and she asked if I could squeeze in another shift. And I couldn't turn down the opportunity to work with my new favorite guide."

He winked at Bella and she looked up at him, her hair pushed back just far enough so that I could see the smile on her lips.

"I know who _my_ favorite guide is," Lauren piped up, lacing her arm through mine. I stared down at her in horror, unable to stop her as she latched on with all her strength. Bella looked at me then, of course, because I desperately wanted her to go back to watching the admissions session. The lights had come back on, and the admissions counselor was answering questions.

"We're up," she mumbled, grasping the door firmly and walking inside before I could do more than gasp like a fish out of water.

The tour was a nightmare. Lauren may have been brushing up on her facts, but she still spent more time staring helplessly than she did giving out information. By the last few stops, I was at my wit's end.

"The ice and snow may seem a bit daunting if you're not used to it, but it can be a lot of fun, right, Lauren?"

She gave me a blank look. I sighed.

"The Winter Carnival is always a blast," I continued, trying to keep my smile convincing. "There are ski races, live bands, free food, and every year ,students do a polar bear swim down at Occom Pond. This year, it's in February."

"Polar bear swim?" squeaked a tiny girl with masses of curly, brown hair. "Why would you do that?"

"Tradition," I said with a wink. "Now if you folks will just follow me across the edge of the Green, we'll make our way to the last stop of the tour. Here's a fun fact for you: Dartmouth's school color is green because it was the only decent color not taken by another Ivy League college!" I strolled backwards, keeping my eyes on the group and shouting a little to be heard. "Harvard had crimson, Yale had blue, and so on. Dartmouth students voted on green as the school color in 1866 because it was the only good color left."

That story always got a few stray chuckles, and this time was no exception. I was scanning the group to make sure we still had everyone when Lauren, who was sticking close to my side despite explicit instructions to mingle with our group, got a little too close. Her foot swept under mine and I stumbled. I tried to get purchase with my other foot, but a patch of ice sent me flying backwards. I landed on my right side, hip and shoulder banging painfully on the sidewalk.

For a moment, I just laid there groaning. Then Lauren was by my side, along with one of the fathers from our group.

"You alright there, son?" he asked kindly. I opened my eyes, only to see Bella and Jacob making their way across the Green towards us. Bella looked worried, but Jacob seemed to be holding in laughter. I couldn't blame him, I suppose. Falling was a rookie mistake.

"I think so," I mumbled, propping myself up slowly on one arm. My elbow buckled and I collapsed again, narrowly missing smacking the back of my head on the cement. "Ow."

"I'm so sorry, Edward," Lauren breathed, flapping her hands frantically in my face. "It was all my fault. Does it hurt? Do you have a concussion?"

"A concussion?" Jacob said loudly. I winced. "That sounds serious, dude. Better get that checked out."

Now both our groups were standing around me, at least thirty people staring down at me as I lay incapacitated on the frozen ground.

"I'm okay. It's really just my pride that's injured," I joked weakly. I sat up again, more slowly this time, and groaned. It felt like I had scraped up my entire side, and I was sure my back would be black and blue by the next morning.

"Why don't I take Edward back to the office while you two finish up?" Bella asked quietly. She was speaking to Jacob but looking at me, her eyes searching my face questioningly. I nodded gratefully, ignoring Lauren's whimper of protest.

"Thanks, Bella." The man squatting next to me helped me stand, and she tucked her arm around my waist. "You know that if I fall, I'm taking us both with me, right?"

"Now who's terminally clumsy?" she laughed, taking a few experimental steps. I threw my arm around her shoulder and hobbled after her, finding relief in the sound of her voice. There was definitely something wrong with me.

I gave an apologetic wave to my tour group and Lauren, raised my eyebrows at Jacob and smiled victoriously, then turned and focused on the girl who was leading me back to the office. I bent my head slightly under the pretense of needing to lean on her. Really, I was trying to get a better view of her face. I was rewarded with a view of half of her smile. She looked up at me and raised an eyebrow, and I felt the overwhelming urge to say something, _anything_. Unfortunately, after all those imagined conversations, I still had no clue how to talk to her about Saturday night. I was stuck.

"So," she said cheerily. "I haven't, uh, really seen you around. Busy first week?"

"Yes! School. You know, lots of classes this semester," I said quickly, jumping on her conversation topic. "Most of my classes are labs, too, so I've been really slammed right away."

"Oh, that sucks. Were you able to get your first assignments done? You know, before Monday?"

Her shoulders seemed to tense a little under my arm, but she sounded relaxed enough. I barked a short laugh.

"I was lucky that I got most of it done before the party. I was so hung-over the next day, I could barely move." The words flew out of my mouth without thought, and I almost froze in panic. I hadn't meant to bring up the party so quickly. I had stopped worrying about it for one second because I was grateful to be having a normal conversation with her...and it just popped out. I held my breath and waited for her response.

"Me too," she said quietly. "I'm sorry I just left your apartment like that, but I really wanted to sleep in my own bed, you know?"

"No problem," I answered, just as quietly. There was a pause, and then, "What time did you leave? I didn't... hear you get up."

I was tiptoeing around the subject, hoping she would give me a clue. Her blank expression never changed as she shrugged.

"I'm not sure exactly. To be honest, I was a little disoriented. Thank you for letting me crash, it was really nice of you to share your bed like that. It's a good thing you've got such a big mattress, I'm kind of a kicker."

"Yeah, well, you're lucky I didn't smush you in my sleep," I joked weakly. "I usually sleep cuddled up to whatever's closest, pillow or person. Emmett almost beat me up on a camping trip our freshman year because I tried to spoon him in the middle of the night."

She snorted, a deceptively cute sound, and then said, "I don't usually black out, so that was a little scary. Thanks for making sure I was okay."

"You... you blacked out?" I couldn't define the feeling that swooped down on me, but it wasn't good. She didn't remember. There had been a tiny part of me that was hoping, wishing, that maybe she remembered what had happened and was glad about it. Of course, that part was vastly overshadowed by the part of me that was beating itself up for making out with a practically-unconscious girl, no matter how pretty, or interesting, or smart she may be sober. Just because she didn't _kiss_ like she was practically-unconscious didn't mean it wasn't wrong.

"I know, it's embarrassing." Her light laugh interrupted my self-flagellation. "I'm never drinking with Alice again." She held the door open for me. Together we made our way to the tiny office, stripping out of our coats as we walked. Bella had to help me with my right sleeve, and my breath hitched a little when she pressed up against me and pulled it off my arm.

I shrugged into my own coat and grabbed my backpack, grateful that there was only one textbook in it at the moment.

"Hey," Bella said softly. I looked up at her, wrapped in her winter clothes and halfway out the door. She smiled. "You find a walk-in clinic and get yourself checked out, okay?"

I nodded. "Thanks for making sure I was okay," I said, echoing her words from earlier. She looked down at her feet and blushed for the first time.

"See ya," she mumbled, taking off without looking back.

I stared after her for several long minutes. The only things I could focus on were the throbbing pain radiating from my hip and shoulder and the sudden, inexplicable feeling that I had just lost something.

* * *

**A/N: Hang with me kids. I promised short and fluffy. Conflict is inevitable. Without it, life would be boring.**

**I've never been in a girl fight. I'm pretty sure I couldn't take anybody. This week's question: what's the most embarrassing public wipe-out you've ever had? **

**A short announcement! _Fandom Gives Back (Eclipse edition)_ begins this evening, June 26, at 11:59 EST. It's an auction, and they have all kinds of awesome donations and merchandise for sale to benefit Alex's Lemonade Stand, which is a charity supporting childhood cancer research. You can learn more about Alex's Lemonade Stand here: http:/www(dot)alexslemonade(dot)org/. As part of the auction, many authors are putting themselves up on the block, myself included. I'm auctioning off a oneshot, and the winner gets to pick their prompt! Canon, AU, or AH, it doesn't matter. I won't write noncanon pairings or the usual icky stuff (rape, incest, adultery), but I'm game for literally anything else you can come up with. The bidding starts pretty low, so come and check it out :)  
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	8. Chapter 8

**ETA: ****I'm taking a break from writing fic for a few months. Real life has gotten incredibly hectic, and I just can't worry about writing my fics with everything else that's going on. I know it sucks, but bear with me. I hope to be back to writing in the spring, but I can't make any promises. I need to focus on school and other commitments right now. Any free time I have will be spent on eating and sleeping...God willing. Thanks to all my readers for being so thoughtful, patient, and kind. I promise I'll come back. Walking Backwards *will* be completed, just not in the near future.**

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**SM owns Twilight. I own a tour guide name tag from my alma mater.**

**Daisy3853 and Spanglemaker9 betaed this chapter, and they are more than fabulous for their quick work. Spangley, thanks for the pinch hit! **

**WriteOnTime is taking some much needed vacation, but she deserves a thank you, too. Nina, your "nagging" is ALWAYS appreciated. Thanks for the push.**

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I thought that after telling Edward that I didn't remember anything about what happened after the party, I would feel better, or at least less guilty about the whole thing. But as I walked away, my stomach sank. I'd never been a great liar, usually because the guilt got me before I even made it through the lie and turned me into a bumbling, stuttering mess. I got really hot and red, and anyone with eyes would be able to see I wasn't telling the truth. This lie didn't do any of those things to me. I was completely and horribly cool.

That week was a bit of a walking nightmare for me. Classes started up again, and I could tell just from looking at my syllabus that I was in for a doozy of a semester. My 19th century Brit-Lit class in particular was going to be difficult. Half the semester was dedicated to _Middlemarch_, and after only one reading assignment I was bored to tears.

On top of classes, I was scheduled to work back-to-back tours three times a week for the next two weeks, which would cut into the amount of time I had available for my reading. At least Alice was my partner for half of them. Working with Jake had been fun, but we weren't totally natural together. Alice and I had an easy back and forth that I thought would translate well on a tour. I knew that after this first schedule, it was likely I would have to do tours on my own. Logically, I knew it would be fine, but it only added to my stress level.

I ran into Jasper on Wednesday at Collis, and I must have looked just as frazzled as I felt, because he slung an arm over my shoulders and offered to buy me lunch.

"You don't have to do that," I protested.

"Nonsense, Bee. When was the last time someone did something nice for you? Sit down over there. I'll buy you a Coke and some french fries." He looked down at me in a calculating sort of way and then added, "And some chocolate cake. Go on, now. Shoo."

It wasn't exactly the most nutritious lunch I had ever eaten, but it was exactly what I needed. The dull headache that I'd been nursing since Monday faded into the background with the rush of sugar and caffeine, and the greasy french fries settled my stomach. When I finished eating, Jasper gave me a small smile.

"Better?"

"Definitely," I sighed. "Thank you. That was perfect."

"What kind of a gentleman would I be if I didn't rescue a damsel in distress when I saw one?"

I snorted and he shook his head. "Now, you gonna tell me what's bothering you, or do I have to guess?"

I shifted uncomfortably in my chair. "Nothing's bothering me. It's just the start of the semester and a new job..."

"How is the new job?" he interrupted. "Everyone treating you okay over there?"

His blue eyes were a little too intense as they looked me over, like he was expecting a very specific answer. The question made me think about Edward, and Edward's lips, and Edward's _hands_. I felt my cheeks flush and I shrugged.

"Everyone has been very nice."

"You're not having any issues with Rose or Leah?" He was still staring at me with that strange intensity, and even though he was asking about the coordinators, I had a feeling that wasn't his actual question.

"Rose has been really nice. I was actually supposed to work with her the other day, but she had to take a specialty tour at the last minute, so Jacob subbed in. Edward and Lauren gave the other tour."

He nodded and stole a cold french fry. "Have you worked with Edward yet?"

"No, but I'm scheduled with him tomorrow afternoon." The thought made my heart race. I hadn't seen him since our conversation in the tour guide office.

"You guys getting along okay? You seemed pretty buddy-buddy at the party."

I looked up, startled, and saw a disconcerting gleam in his eye. Jasper knew. I didn't know how, or why, but he knew that _something_ had happened between Edward and me. My stomach flipped as I wondered if he had said anything to Alice. She had been surprisingly quiet about trying to hook the two of us up since the previous week.

"Edward's nice," I said, forcing my voice to stay casual. Jasper knowing didn't change anything, except it put Edward's job in bigger jeopardy. No matter what, I would stick to my story. "He let me crash at his place after the party, but I haven't seen him since we worked together last."

He nodded just as casually. "Cool." There was an awkward pause, and then he sighed and stood. "Well, I have a Chinese philosophy class I have to get to. Take care of yourself, okay?"

I was still thinking about my odd lunch with Jasper when I arrived at work the next day, The wind had shifted sometime in the morning, and it was whistling across the Green and between the buildings. We were supposed to get clobbered with a big storm on Friday morning, and the sky had turned that steel gray color that always meant snow. As I ran up to McNutt, Edward hurried up from behind me and grabbed the door.

"After you," he said with a smile. He must have been outside for longer than me, because his lips were a little blue and his teeth chattered in the wind. I wasted no time getting inside the building, and a welcome blast of heat hit my face as I made my way inside.

"Nothing like January in Hanover," I said, pulling off my gloves and pressing my cold hands to the crook of my neck. We walked over to the coat closet and he tossed me a coat and an abandoned Dartmouth hat.

"Take that and cover your ears," he ordered. "At least it's almost February. That means it's got to get warmer soon, right?"

"Keep dreaming, Masen."

Our exchange was silly and light, and something about it lifted a bit of the guilt I'd been feeling. He still had his job. He seemed happy. And we were interacting in a completely normal way. Then he hooked an arm through mine and tugged me toward the office, and my whole body started to tingle at the contact.

_Nevermind_, I thought. There was nothing normal about the way he made me feel.

If he noticed that I had suddenly turned into a tomato, Edward didn't say anything. Then again, I was usually some shade of red in his presence, so maybe he didn't think it was anything out of the ordinary.

"Alice tried to get me to switch with her, but I told her no way was I going out with Lauren again," Edward was saying as we made our way down the hall. "She's personable enough, I guess, but she can't answer questions or improvise to save her soul. Plus she's clingier than a baby sloth."

I laughed, and he grinned down at me. It was gratifying to know that all her attention didn't mean anything to him—but then, he'd be in just as much trouble for messing around with Lauren as he would with me. Then he seemed to realize that he was still pulling me along, and he dropped his arm. "Sorry," he said.

"No problem," I mumbled, trying to pretend I wasn't disappointed when he let go.

It was a packed crowd, probably because decision deadlines were looming for next year's freshmen. Rosalie had mentioned that February and March were a busy time for us, and that it would be easy to pick up extra shifts if I wanted to.

"You want to intro this time?" Edward smiled at me, and the swarm of butterflies in my stomach flapped a little harder.

"Sure, if you think I'm ready."

"Of course you're ready," Angela said, coming up behind me. She was already wearing her green coat and name tag. "I did it the other day, it's a piece of cake!"

"Piece of cake," I echoed, peeking around Edward into the scrum of students and parents.

"Breathe, Bella," he whispered. His breath made an errant piece of hair sticking out near my ear flutter lightly, and seemingly without thought, he reached out and tucked it into my hat. "Go get 'em."

I took a deep breath and smiled at the Admissions counselor, who had just finished answering her last question. She nodded at me.

"Good afternoon, everyone! My name is Bella. I'm a junior from Phoenix, Arizona, and I'm majoring in creative writing."

||X||

Turns out, it was a piece of cake. So was the whole tour. Working with Edward wasn't like work at all—every joke and factoid I had memorized flew out of my head in favor of a conversational back and forth about all things Dartmouth. Edward was charming, although I had never really doubted that. A couple of times I thought he looked a little uncomfortable, especially when one of the female prospective students kept touching his arm and batting her eyes at him, but those moments were short-lived.

After we had finished the tour and sent our group on their way, he slung his arm around my shoulders again. Even through my thick, winter coat, the action warmed me.

"You did great," he said with a wide grin. "How about some hot chocolate at the Hop? My treat."

It was the kind of thing Jasper would do, or even Jacob, so I figured it was safe enough. What was one cup of hot chocolate between friends?

Edward ordered our drinks and followed me to a booth by a window. "You know, you can take the name tag off when you're not working," he laughed, pointing to mine, which was still hanging from my neck. "Once, I forgot I was wearing it, and I went to class with it on. This girl sat next to me, never seen her before in my life, and she started talking to me about Chicago. I was so confused, until I realized my hometown was right there on my shirt."

"Trust you to use your name tag to pick up chicks."

"What's that supposed to mean?" He actually looked a little offended, and I rushed to explain.

"It's just that girls are always falling all over you, it just figures that even a name tag is an opening for you."

"I think 'always' is a bit of a gross exaggeration," he said dryly. "The girls who, as you put it, fall all over me, are mostly teenagers and girls who aren't really interested in...um... traditional dating."

He frowned down at his cup, and a stone settled in my stomach. It was fairly obvious he didn't notice my interest, let alone reciprocate. I fought to keep the conversation light.

"Traditional dating, Masen? What kind of a college boy are you?"

"You may find this hard to believe, but I'm kind of an introvert—old-fashioned, I guess you could say. I like a good time as much as the next person, but I spend so much time working and studying that when I do have time off, I just want to chill with my friends. Low key, you know? Parties like newbie-palooza are pretty few and far between for me."

"So what I'm hearing is you're a grandpa in college boy clothing?"

He snorted. "Ouch. I'm just not looking for a random hook-up, you know?" I swallowed convulsively, and he lifted his eyes to my face, a look of concentration on his handsome features. "If I'm going to kiss a girl, to spend time with her, I want it to be more serious than that."

It took a lot of work to stay composed. I had to remind myself, several times, that I was pretending not to know about our make-out in his bed. He hadn't mentioned it. He said he was hung-over the next day. Likely, he actually had blacked out. I was reading too much into this.

"Okay, grandpa," I said with a somewhat forced smile. I patted his hand lightly. "We better get back to the office before someone thinks we've run off with our official tour guide jackets." I stood up and grabbed my cup, waiting for him to stand before I turned and led the way out of the Hop.

"Hey, speed demon, wait a second." I turned around, and he was standing right there, a small smile on his lips. He held up my hat. "Forget something?"

Before I could grab it from him, he tugged it down securely over my ears. For a brief second, I felt his hands at the sides of my face. His fingers were warm from the hot chocolate, and as he let go of the knit cap, they traced my cheekbones, lingering a little next to my chin. I was frozen, totally undone by his simple gesture.

It wasn't until he cleared his throat and suggested we get going that I was able to snap myself out of it long enough to get moving. As I followed him through campus toward the office, I couldn't help but thinking that I was in way over my head.

||X||

The semester got underway quickly. Before I knew it, I had settled into a nice routine of work, school, and play. My classes were interesting, even if they were a lot of work. And while it was true that I had had reservations about the job at first, Alice was right—being a campus tour guide was a fantastic job. There was a lot of variety, mostly because the people were always different, and so no tour was ever the same. Angela and Jessica ended up being great girls, too, and they often hung out with Alice and me on random nights.

Jacob was another unexpected bonus. He had actually been pretty helpful in terms of studying. We were both juniors with similar course loads, and on top of that, he was training for the crew team. It was the off-season, but they still had daily work-outs. As a result, Jacob had to stick to a pretty strict study schedule in order to get everything done, and he invited me to join him.

At first, I thought he was using our study sessions as an excuse to flirt with me. When we had first met, it certainly seemed like he was interested. He laid it on thick around the guys we worked with, touching my arm, putting his hands on my shoulders, giving me casual, one-armed hugs.

As time went on, though, it seemed pretty clear to me that he wasn't my type. There was no chemistry, no passion-infused zing to our conversations. We laughed, but when he leaned towards me and smiled, I didn't feel like my heart was going to pound out of my chest. I only felt the comfort that came hand-in-hand with solid friendship. When I told him that one afternoon, alone in the office, he smiled sadly.

"I know," he said with a shrug.

"You know?"

"Yeah, you give off some pretty strong non-verbal cues." I stared at him, more than a little disconcerted.

"What do you mean?"

"Eh, it's lots of things," he said, waving his hand. "But mostly it's the way you can't stop staring at Masen."

Of course, that conversation had ended in a lot of mumbled, embarrassed denials, but I didn't think he believed me. I wouldn't have believed me.

About a month into the semester, Jacob and I were studying at the library, in my favorite corner of the reading room. Well, I was studying; Jacob was making whispered conversation with me. We had been sitting there for close to an hour, and thanks to his chattering, I had only managed to read five paragraphs.

I was about to tell him to shut the hell up or get his own table, when Alice sat down across from me. Alice's presence pretty much guaranteed I'd get no more work done, so I set my Brit-Lit textbook down with a heavy sigh.

"Hey."

"Hey, yourself," she said brightly. "What are we studying?"

"Studying is a relative term," I grumbled. Jacob actually blushed a little, but Alice just laughed.

"Lesson one, Mr. Black: when Bella is sitting at this table, she means business." She pulled an apple out of her bag along with a thick art book.

"Alice! You're not supposed to eat in the library!" A little bit of my inner student librarian still lingered, and I was particularly sensitive to food in the stacks. Nothing is worse than cleaning up apple cores that have been sitting in the dark for a couple of weeks. Gross.

She started humming 'Marian the Librarian' under her breath as she took a big bite, spraying apple juice over the cover of her book.

"This is useless. I'll see you later, Jacob. I've got to get this chapter read before this afternoon or I'm dead."

"I love you madly madly Madame Librarian!" sang Alice. I shoved her shoulder as I walked past, and gave her a big dramatic "Shhhhhhh!" just for effect. I could hear her laughing as I made my way to the stairs.

I wasn't really angry at Jacob or Alice. It wasn't their fault my concentration was shot. If anyone was to blame, it was Edward.

Every time he was around, I had a hard time looking away, and when he wasn't around, I was usually thinking about him. When I saw him in the office, or striding purposefully across the Green on random weekdays, I always stared just a half a beat too long before snapping out of it. If he was just beautiful, that would have been one thing. But he was so much more than that. Smart, kind, funny... and out of my reach.

After that first tour together, it became our custom to get a cup of hot chocolate after working together. Some days we only stopped long enough to pick up our drinks, and some days we found a table and talked. Those were the days that I was late to my study dates with Jacob, often showing up flushed from rushing across campus to get to the table where we sat. On those days, Jacob would take one look at me and shake his head. Wisely, he kept his comments to himself.

Wandering up to the third floor, I crept along the wall to the back of the stacks. My very favorite tables were there—this wasn't the noisy, crowded reading room where I had met Alice, and where Jacob and I sat to study. It was musty, and quiet, and secluded. It was book heaven. And there was someone sleeping in my spot.

I almost turned and left immediately, but something made me keep walking. Whoever it was had basically collapsed on top of a thick pile of textbooks. Two long arms stretched out in an impressive wingspan, and a heavy, whistling kind of snore was squeaking from his mouth. Another step revealed a familiar mop of reddish brown hair and heavily bagged eyes that were hidden, most unusually, behind a pair of reading glasses.

Even though I had just seen him at work just two days ago, and heard him speaking quite enthusiastically about the many opportunities and joys his time at Dartmouth had given him, right now he looked worn and unhappy. His face wasn't blank, but furrowed, his eyebrows knotted together and his bottom lip caught between his teeth. It wasn't the face of the boy I had come to know. Sure, Edward looked tired a lot, but there was something new leaking into his expression while he slept, something that resembled discontentment, or sadness.

I reached out, intending for a brief moment to smooth the hair back off his forehead. My fingers came within inches of his face when I snatched them back, suddenly horrified at how creepy I was acting. I cleared my throat quietly and turned to go.

I hadn't got more than a couple of steps when I heard a snuffly sort of exhale and the clear sound of someone yawning and stretching.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'm taking up the whole—"

I turned around, and his eyes widened.

"Bella?"

"Hey...Edward," I said awkwardly, fidgeting with the straps on my backpack. "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up. I was just... going."

"No, no," he said quickly, sweeping his huge books to the side with one smooth, impressive movement. "My library etiquette is terrible. I'm lucky one of the librarians hasn't been by with a ruler to whip me into shape by now. Besides, I shouldn't have been sleeping in the first place."

When I didn't move, he kicked the chair across from him so it skittered back a few inches. "You can sit down if you want to. I know this is a pretty good spot."

"It's one of my favorites," I admitted, moving toward the empty chair slowly. An odd, awkward feeling infused the conversation, and I wasn't sure how to handle it.

"Mine, too," he said simply. "I'd like it better if I had some hot chocolate, but I'm pretty sure that's against the rules." He cracked open one of his books with a smile and pulled a notebook from his bag. "Sit down. If you want." Without another word, he settled right into studying, never taking his eyes from his paper.

It would be weird to turn around and go at this point, and I didn't want to leave in any case. I sat down in the offered chair and quietly pulled out my book and a highlighter, intent on being completely studious until my assignment was finished. If Edward was going to study in silence, there was no reason I couldn't do the same.

I didn't count on his presence making me so antsy. Every time he turned his page, my eyes drifted over to him. I had to bite my lips to stop myself from talking to him. I almost gave in half a dozen times, but his clear exhaustion and the way he kept muttering formulas under his breath stopped me.

Twenty minutes in, I was ready to throw in the towel. I growled and dropped my book, rubbing my eyes. I was about to stand up and stalk toward the bathroom, just for a break, when Edward looked up and spoke.

"Problems?"

I glanced up at him, intending to give a brief non-answer, but the look on his face stopped me. He was smiling softly, his eyes crinkled a little in the corners—that same crinkle that always made me swoon a little—and his eyebrows were raised quizzically. I leaned back into my chair and sighed.

"I hate this book."

When he didn't say anything else and merely continued looking at me, I kept going. "I mean, there are all these characters, and most of them are just plain dull. There are so many interweaving story lines, and I don't care about any of them. And on top of that, I haven't read a word about the only couple I care about in at least fifty pages!"

This time when I didn't continue, he laughed. It was quiet—after all, we were still in a library—but it was genuine. His eyes lifted a little, and he seemed momentarily less tired.

"I'm sure you never have this problem with..." I squinted at the spine of one of his books, "microbial sciences."

"No, never," he said solemnly. "Of course, I think there are probably more characters in my book than yours, and most of the time they're much duller subjects."

I sighed. "You've never read George Eliot."

"Guilty," he laughed. Then he rubbed his eye blearily and stifled a yawn. I hadn't seen him for a couple of days, and the difference between now and then was striking.

"Hey...are you... okay?" I asked. "You don't look like you've been getting a lot of sleep."

He dropped his eyes and toyed with a pen in front of him, lifting and dropping one shoulder in a half-hearted shrug. "You know how it is."

When he looked up again, I shook my head slightly. "Tell me."

"Eh, it's boring," he said. "You don't want to know."

"Try me," I insisted, sliding _Middlemarch _to the side of the table to join his books. "I'm a good listener."

"I know," he said quietly.

"Come on," I coaxed. "Jake says I should have been a psych major."

"You spend a lot of time with Jacob, don't you?" he said thoughtfully. The pen fell to the table and he stared at me, waiting.

"Yeah, we've been studying together a few times a week. He's a great friend."

"A friend," Edward repeated hollowly. "Yes, I can see that."

"I know you don't get along," I said quickly, "but Jacob has always been really nice to me. He's taught me a lot on the job, too."

He nodded and stared down at his notebook.

"Anyway," I pressed. "You were going to tell me what was bothering you?"

He pursed his lips. "Maybe you can help."

I nodded encouragingly.

"Okay, well, there's this girl."

My heart fell. Of course there was a girl. "Not one of those love 'em and leave 'em types, I hope," I joked weakly. "Is she a traditional sort of gal, grandpa?"

"I think she is." He paused, as if working something out. "But I don't think she's interested."

"I don't believe that," I scoffed. "Why wouldn't she be? You're the whole package!" Once I realized what I had just said, I flushed bright red. He grinned.

"The whole package, huh? Well, that's a bit of a relief." He winked, and my core temperature rose ten degrees.

"I mean, I'm just telling you what I think, as your friend," I blustered. "Friends should be able to give honest opinions about things like this."

"Absolutely," he said solemnly. "And let me say, as your friend..." He paused, and I held my breath. "I think you're the whole package, too."

I shrugged awkwardly, trying not to let my smile take over my whole face. "So this traditional girl who you're sure isn't interested, what's the problem? Why not just tell her how you feel and see what she says?"

"There's more to it than that," he murmured, taking his eyes off my face and staring absently through the stacks toward the windows. "I never planned on a relationship at this point in my life, and this girl, well, I guess you could say she makes me want it all. Romance, candlelight, the whole nine yards."

I laughed. "So she's messing with the plan? That's what's got you all whooped up?"

"Don't mock the plan," he said with a frown. "It's a good plan. It got me this far. Besides, even disregarding the plan—"

"Heaven forbid." I laughed, more comfortable teasing him now that we weren't talking about me anymore. He ignored me.

"Even disregarding the plan, I couldn't give her the time and attention she deserves."

"Okay, so forget about her. Easy."

"I can't!" He turned back toward me, an odd gleam in his eye. He picked up the pen again and started twirling it. "I think about her all the time, and the more I try to forget about her, the more I think about her."

That stone in my stomach weighed a ton. "Sounds like you've got it pretty bad."

"You have no idea," he said darkly.

"I still think you should find out what _she_ wants," I said, against my better judgment. After all, we were friends, regardless of my _extra_ feelings for him, and he deserved my honesty. "You'll never know if you don't talk to her. And who knows, she might completely understand. She might be willing to take what you can offer and be happy with it."

"Would you be?"

"Hypothetically," I said carefully, "If I felt that way about someone," _and I do, Edward_, "and he felt that way about me, I would find it very hard to say no."

He hummed thoughtfully, and the pen twirled again. "Thanks for listening, Bella," he said finally. "You've given me a lot to think about."

"I'm glad I could help," I lied.

He yawned and stretched while I sat, pathetically mesmerized by the way his white teeth flashed in the overhead lighting. I refocused when he spoke again.

"How about I pay you back with dinner? None of that cafeteria food, either. We'll go out."

"Oh, Edward, you don't have to do that. Anyway, I know you have a lot of studying to do."

He smiled softly, and just for a moment, the stone in my stomach lifted, replaced by a flutter of butterflies' wings. "For you, Bella, I think I can spare the time."

* * *

**A/N: I have no excuses. I know it's been a long time. Writers block, other plot bunnies, and RL got in the way. I'm sorry. Know that I won't jump ship on you. I will try my very hardest not to let it go this long again. **

**My most embarrassing public wipe out was during a summer show I was in in high school. We were doing a dance number, and I was up on a platform. I fell right off the back of the platform. Luckily, I wasn't injured, although I did have to hobble off stage and sit the rest of the dance out to recover. Most of the audience didn't notice, but the 50 other dancers on stage sure did. Mortifying when you're 17. **

**Where was/is your favorite place to study? **

**If you remember that far back, I was up for auction in the Fandom Gives Back Auction: Eclipse Edition! Legna989 bought me, and she gave me a lovely prompt. I've posted the oneshot that resulted here and on ADF. The Yes Project: http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6210707/1/The_Yes_Project**


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